The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?
The aboriginal
tribes
living in the world’s tropical rainforests
are descending. For more than a few decades, the rest of the native tribes
may have forever evanesced. This
essay will discuss one of the main problems associated with indigenous groups living in rainforests
in decreasing numbers nowadays and suggest a viable solution.
The principal problem with the possibility of primaeval tribes
living in rainforests
disappearing in a few decades is deforestation. People, especially business people, often exploit nature for their own purposes by felling rare trees
in important areas rather than replanting them to save the minors and the world. Moreover
, this
issue affects
the number of Verb problem
causes
many
local Correct word choice
apply
tribes
in rainforests
to lessen and finally
disappear sooner or later within ten years. For example
, wood companies need to cut down trees
to construct buildings to receive high profits.
A possible solution to this
worrying problem is to impose regulations
and laws in order to govern the felling of trees
by businesses. Furthermore
, by using government regulations
, the current scenario may have been alleviated. For example
, if wood businesses become afraid of laws and regulations
, they may refrain from logging trees
in order to protect indigenous peoples in rainforests
.
In summary, one of the main problems with the world's jungles is that the number of indigenous tribes
practising traditional lives is dwindling due to
deforestation, and this
can be solved by imposing laws and regulations
. It is predicted that more and more entrepreneurs will chop down trees
, but they may finally
be penalized by the government.Submitted by Blue Hydrangea
on
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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the main points, but it could be more comprehensive and detailed in its response to the task. Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the question in detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion. Work on improving the development of ideas within paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but aim to incorporate more varied and advanced vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of lexical resources.
Grammatical Range
You demonstrate a reasonably wide range of grammatical structures. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and errors in sentence structure. Work on refining your sentence structures for greater accuracy and coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite