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Band 4

Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #car #accidents #age #years
Nowadays, youths are found having
Add an article
an accident
show examples
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 with vehicles
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults,and
this
 occurrence calls for upgrading the driving
age
 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
22
years
 old. I agree with
this
 policy due to all the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 I will discuss in my essay. To start with, there are many reasons why youngsters cannot handle cars safely on the roads. The reasons include
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
low
Add an article
the low
a low
show examples
 concentration
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the teenage period, immaturity and peer pressure, and all
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 affect their ways of doing things generally.
Diversion
Correct article usage
The diversion
show examples
 of minds seen in these
age
 groups has led to many accidents. Immaturity of all senses at the period, make many of them not able to control their emotions, and
this
Correct your spelling
thus
show examples
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
 them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be prone to
Add a hyphen
driving-related
show examples
driving related
Add a hyphen
driving-related
show examples
 injuries, while peer pressure lures
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
show examples
 percentage of youngsters to impatience, which causes a lot of
accident
 on the roads.
On the other hand
, safe driving has been linked with
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
 in
age
. Adults who drive are always cautious, and trauma
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not commonly seen
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
age
 group above 22
years
 old. According to the statistics released in Lagos, Nigeria, by the Federal
road
Change the capitalization
Road
show examples
 safety Corps on the
age
 groups frequently involved in vehicle accidents in 2021, it is glaring that 75% of the cars
accident
 were caused by
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
- driving. So, it is clear without mincing words that
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 are less frequent
with
Change preposition
among
show examples
 car users that are 22
years
 and above. In conclusion, to reduce car accidents on our highways,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should make a policy, backed by law, making
driving
Correct article usage
the driving
show examples
age
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
start at 22
years
, and
this
 will curtail many
accident
Change to a plural noun
accidents
show examples
 caused by youth immature handling of cars.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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