IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Young people are more likely to be involved in car accidents, therefore the legal driving age should be raised to 22 years old. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #car #accidents #age #years
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Nowadays, youths are found having
Use synonyms
Add an article
an accident
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accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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 with vehicles
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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adults,and
this
Linking Words
 occurrence calls for upgrading the driving
age
Use synonyms
 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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22
years
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 old. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 policy due to all the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 I will discuss in my essay. To start with, there are many reasons why youngsters cannot handle cars safely on the roads. The reasons include
,
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apply
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low
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the low
a low
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 concentration
at
Change preposition
in
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 the teenage period, immaturity and peer pressure, and all
these
Change preposition
of these
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 affect their ways of doing things generally.
Diversion
Correct article usage
The diversion
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 of minds seen in these
age
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 groups has led to many accidents. Immaturity of all senses at the period, make many of them not able to control their emotions, and
Linking Words
this
Correct your spelling
thus
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making
Wrong verb form
makes
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 them
to
Change the verb form
apply
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be prone to
Add a hyphen
driving-related
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driving related
Add a hyphen
driving-related
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 injuries, while peer pressure lures
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
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 percentage of youngsters to impatience, which causes a lot of
accident
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 on the roads.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, safe driving has been linked with
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
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 in
age
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. Adults who drive are always cautious, and trauma
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not commonly seen
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
age
Use synonyms
 group above 22
years
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 old. According to the statistics released in Lagos, Nigeria, by the Federal
road
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Road
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 safety Corps on the
age
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 groups frequently involved in vehicle accidents in 2021, it is glaring that 75% of the cars
accident
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 were caused by
child
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a child
the child
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- driving. So, it is clear without mincing words that
Use synonyms
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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 are less frequent
with
Change preposition
among
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 car users that are 22
years
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 and above. In conclusion, to reduce car accidents on our highways,
government
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the government
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 should make a policy, backed by law, making
driving
Correct article usage
the driving
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age
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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start at 22
years
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, and
this
Linking Words
 will curtail many
Use synonyms
accident
Change to a plural noun
accidents
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 caused by youth immature handling of cars.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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