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Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Advanced and progressive system in farming is being grown. Even though ,yet, inhabitants of some countries around the world suffer from
food
Use synonyms
 deprivation.
That is
Linking Words
 for many reasons
such
Linking Words
 As as
sudden
Correct article usage
the sudden
show examples
 increase in dwellers throughout the world and farmland
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not enough to satisfy people's
food
Use synonyms
 demand. 47 Starvation has always
was
Wrong verb form
been
show examples
 sparked
off
Change preposition
apply
show examples
considerable debate by those who are under occupation Around that. Meanwhile ,two major problems are being spread encountered concerned with going Hungry.
First
Linking Words
 ,in
developed
Add an article
a developed
the developed
show examples
 society they always focus on their own country's progress in every
Fields
Change to a singular noun
field
show examples
 and
thus
Linking Words
, we can see extravagant sources which could be allocated to the communities Where
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
living in poverty.
For example
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wasteful use of natural sources like water in
advanced
Add an article
an advanced
show examples
 society . So it can bother other
civilization
Fix the agreement mistake
civilizations
show examples
 living suitably.
Second
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 land under cultivation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 faced with limitation due to population
inlargment
Correct your spelling
enlargement
 growth and their demand for
food
Use synonyms
. Now, two major problems for
food
Use synonyms
 deprivation as mentioned above have to
considered
Add a missing verb
be considered
show examples
 by Political will , government co-operation and
likewise
Linking Words
 people.
First
Linking Words
 of all, authorities'
Announcement
Fix the agreement mistake
Announcements
show examples
around
Change preposition
about
show examples
 starvation in countries must appear forcefully. It means
thatin
Correct your spelling
that in
that
 other words,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
launching
campaign
Add an article
a campaign
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 problem means
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 in some parts of the world, creating
Correct article usage
a hashtag
show examples
hashtag
Fix the agreement mistake
hashtags
show examples
 with
This
Linking Words
 topic
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their social media, or rising raising public awareness by giving
lecture
Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
show examples
 concerned with
Use synonyms
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in both schools and Universities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, land under cultivation as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mentioned previously
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
encountered
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
 on
Add an article
the crop
show examples
crop
Fix the agreement mistake
crops
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
, a good proposal could be submitted in
Near
Correct article usage
the Near
show examples
 future as vertical farming. Which is the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
practice of growing
crop
Fix the agreement mistake
crops
show examples
 in vertically stacked layers. With
this
Linking Words
 method, we expect increasing crop yields which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 accompanied
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by a smaller unit area of land requirement. And
therefore
Linking Words
, it results in more
food
Use synonyms
 and production. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 we can deal with
such
Linking Words
 problems and come up with new ideas, people, on the other
sidehand
Correct your spelling
side hand
side and
, play an important role(sing count.)
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
care about not being extravagant
wasteful
Correct word choice
and wasteful
show examples
 with resources and consuming them more efficiently.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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