IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Working is taking a more important role in people's lives. Why are people working so much? Do you think this trend is good or bad?

#role #people #lives #trend
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In modern times,
jobs
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 and
careers
Change the noun form
career
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 advancement
are
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is
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 essential
to
Change preposition
for
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 individuals to survive. Reasons
such
Linking Words
 as
search
Add an article
the search
a search
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 for money,
career
Correct word choice
and career
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 advancement,are why
people
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over
Change preposition
apply
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indulgence in
office
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jobs
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.
This
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 is more of a negative trend than
Correct article usage
a positive
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positive
Correct pronoun usage
onepositive
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. I shall explain
further
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.
To begin
Linking Words
,the importance of secular
jobs
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 can not be overemphasized. It is essential for every individual to be gainfully employed.
People
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 engage in
office
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jobs
Use synonyms
 in a quest for wealth
aqcuision
Correct your spelling
acquisition
 in order to be
finacially
Correct your spelling
financially
financial
independence
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independent
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 and for career advancement
thus
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, improvement in
self esteem
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self-esteem
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 and
self worth
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self-worth
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 in the long run.
In addition
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, work keeps
people
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 away from crime and evil thoughts.
However
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,there should be a balance between
office
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 hours and family/leisure time. The benefits of spending quality time with beloved ones should not be compromised because of the quest for
materials
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material
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 items. With the advent of artificial technology,
office
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 hours should be limited,
this
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 is in order to promote healthy home life and recreational activities. Workers should embark on regular holidays and annual leave so as to engage in home life and unwind. In conclusion, while it is vital for
people
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 to engage
in
Change the preposition
at
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 8am to 5pm
jobs
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, family leisure time should not be
brigded
Correct your spelling
bridged
. There is
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
 to strike a balance

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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