Working is taking a more important role in people's lives. Why are people working so much? Do you think this trend is good or bad?

#role #people #lives #trend

In modern times,

jobs

and

careers

Change the noun form

career

show examples

advancement

are

Change the verb form

show examples

essential

Change preposition

for

show examples

individuals to survive. Reasons

such

Add an article

the search

a search

show examples

for money,

career

Correct word choice

and career

show examples

advancement,are why

people

over

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apply

show examples

indulgence in

office

jobs

This

is more of a negative trend than

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

positive

Correct pronoun usage

onepositive

show examples

. I shall explain

further

To begin

,the importance of secular

jobs

can not be overemphasized. It is essential for every individual to be gainfully employed.

People

engage in

office

jobs

in a quest for wealth

aqcuision

Correct your spelling

acquisition

in order to be

finacially

Correct your spelling

financially

financial

independence

Replace the word

independent

show examples

and for career advancement

thus

, improvement in

self esteem

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self-esteem

show examples

and

self worth

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self-worth

show examples

in the long run.

In addition

, work keeps

people

away from crime and evil thoughts.

However

,there should be a balance between

office

hours and family/leisure time. The benefits of spending quality time with beloved ones should not be compromised because of the quest for

materials

Change the noun form

material

show examples

items. With the advent of artificial technology,

office

hours should be limited,

this

is in order to promote healthy home life and recreational activities. Workers should embark on regular holidays and annual leave so as to engage in home life and unwind. In conclusion, while it is vital for

people

to engage

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show examples

8am to 5pm

jobs

, family leisure time should not be

brigded

Correct your spelling

bridged

. There is

need

Correct article usage

a need

show examples

to strike a balance

Sat Jun 11 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

204 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Working is taking a more important role in people's lives. Why are people working so much? Do you think this trend is good or bad?

Fully explain your ideas

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct, there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening.

The government should ban smoking in all public places even though this would restrict some other people’s freedom?Do you agree or disagree?

The best curriculum is not one based on a static body of knowledge, but one which teaches students to cope with change. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Disscuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.