IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Topic 3: the best way to resolve significant environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Increasing the price of
fuel
Use synonyms
 is the best way to decrease significant environmental problems. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. I do not think the high price
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
fuel
Use synonyms
 is so useful to use less.
This
Linking Words
 idea has some disadvantages. First of all, governments should tell or show the truth about environmental issues around the world.
While
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 do not know about solving tasks to save our environment, they can't do anything.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government should advertise hybrid
cars
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Correct pronoun usage
These
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 2 benefits which are air
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshened
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 with hybrid
cars
Use synonyms
, a clean environment, and good bodies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the cost of
fuel
Use synonyms
 has so negative effects on
people
Use synonyms
 and society. Some groups of
people
Use synonyms
 can not buy because they do not have enough
money-earning
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, there is
not any
Rephrase
no
show examples
 choice but to do anything.
For example
Linking Words
, poor
people
Use synonyms
 should buy gospel
cars
Use synonyms
 to move around the cities.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 some public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 should work with gas.
This
Linking Words
 is a one and just idea.
For example
Linking Words
, Buses work with
fuel
Use synonyms
 and most
people
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 use them to go somewhere during the day. In general, In my ,view we have other steps to save our environmental issues
such
Linking Words
 as hybrid
cars
Use synonyms
 that I mentioned in the 2 previous paragraphs.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your disagreement but could benefit from a more detailed outline of your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or relevant statistics to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the conclusion summarizes your main points without introducing new ideas for clarity.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion throughout the essay, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You make a commendable effort to discuss the socioeconomic effects of fuel prices, which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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