You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter -describe the problem.

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company #-describe

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am a loyal customer of your shop and I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter in order to make a complaint about the desktop which I bought from your store

last

Linking Words

week.

Last

Linking Words

Monday, I visited your shopping mall to purchase a new desktop for my work at home and one of your salesmen recommended me to try an HP computer. After fitting it in my bedroom, it was perfectly suitable for my room and worked well for a couple of days.

However

Linking Words

, on the third day, the screen began to pale and there were some anomalies. As I work on a computer for a long time on a daily basis regarding my work and my eyesight is lower than average, I am having difficulties with it.

According to

Linking Words

its warranty, if it broke down, the company or store would take action to repair it immediately or replace it with a new one. That's why, I would be grateful if you could send one of your staff to check and fix it or refund me in full. Yours faithfully, Bob Thomas

Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on Wed Feb 28 2024

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Task Achievement

Your letter successfully addresses all the points required by the task prompt. However, to enhance task achievement, consider providing more specific information about the problem for a more compelling argument. For instance, describing the anomalies in more detail could strengthen your request for action.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your letter is clear and logical, facilitating easy understanding. To further improve coherence and cohesion, you could use a wider range of cohesive devices or transition words between sentences and paragraphs, such as 'Consequently,' 'Furthermore,' etc., to enhance the flow of ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

184 words

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You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter -describe the problem.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some experts, believe that it is better for children to begin learning, a foreign language at primary school, rather than secondary school, do the advantages of the outweighes the disadvantages.

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more fathers are taking break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.