As the world is changing day by day and the labouring market is becoming more and more competitive, many
firmly believe that youngsters had better focus on developing their future jobs whereas others consider spending
on social activities with friends and relatives is more vital. Personally, I think each choice has its own benefits and drawbacks which I'm going to mention in
essay.
nurturing
successfulCorrect article usage
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career, it's apparent that money is the top priority of many
post-graduatedCorrect your spelling
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students who are ambitious and enthusiastic when they decide to take a job. Those students never feel satisfied with their achievements since they will always improve and train their
to meet the requirements of strict employers as well as some grumpy consumers.
,
employees keep thinking that it's a waste of
to use their free
for recreational activities so they pay more attention to
learnWrong verb form
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and try to expand their knowledge as much as they can.
will brings young
a whole of benefits including: well-paid jobs, fame and
highCorrect article usage
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living standard. They
could become
a Correct article usage
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prestigious and creditable in their families as well.
, those employees may
lostChange the verb form
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some important life
isChange the verb form
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a need in some hard situations. They may not have essential survival
or they are even unable to cook for themselves or do the laundry. These problems will cause a lot of negative influences on their private lives.
Turning to
spendingChange the verb form
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with friends and families, many youngsters are sociable and active so
that Correct word choice
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they would rather hang out with their best friends on the weekends. They speculate that they may
lostChange the verb form
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their youth if they only work and work continually
everydayReplace the word
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so they want to enjoy their free
with no restrictions. Those guys don't mind wasting a huge
just
to chooseChange the verb form
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their
favourReplace the word
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destination for their holidays,cost an arm and a leg to buy the clothes from popular brands or just simple as gathering with their parents and talking about their days. Those activities will provide young
with a number of communication
which are really good to build up beneficial
. They
own quite a variety of noble characteristics
honest Replace the word
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, generosity, courage and a heart of gold.
, those
might not concentrate on their academic studies so that they can't get high salary work which can guarantee an
living standard for them.
To summarise, both ways of spending
are very beneficial
especiallyAdd the comma(s)
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for young
who are energetic and full of hopes, but they should balance these two ways in order to get success in not only
careerCorrect pronoun usage
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path but
socialChange preposition
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life.