some people say that I young person should spend a time building us successful career others think their spending time with friends and families more important discuss both views and give your opinion.

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As the world is changing day by day and the labouring market is becoming more and more competitive, many
people
Use synonyms
firmly believe that youngsters had better focus on developing their future jobs whereas others consider spending
time
Use synonyms
on social activities with friends and relatives is more vital. Personally, I think each choice has its own benefits and drawbacks which I'm going to mention in
this
Linking Words
essay.
To begin
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with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
nurturing
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
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career, it's apparent that money is the top priority of many
post-graduated
Correct your spelling
post-graduate
show examples
students who are ambitious and enthusiastic when they decide to take a job. Those students never feel satisfied with their achievements since they will always improve and train their
skills
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to meet the requirements of strict employers as well as some grumpy consumers.
Therefore
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,
such
Linking Words
employees keep thinking that it's a waste of
time
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to use their free
time
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for recreational activities so they pay more attention to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
and try to expand their knowledge as much as they can.
This
Linking Words
will brings young
people
Use synonyms
a whole of benefits including: well-paid jobs, fame and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
living standard. They
also
Linking Words
could become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prestigious and creditable in their families as well.
However
Linking Words
, those employees may
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
some important life
skills
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that
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a need in some hard situations. They may not have essential survival
skills
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or they are even unable to cook for themselves or do the laundry. These problems will cause a lot of negative influences on their private lives. Turning to
spending
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spend
show examples
time
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with friends and families, many youngsters are sociable and active so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they would rather hang out with their best friends on the weekends. They speculate that they may
lost
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lose
be lost
show examples
their youth if they only work and work continually
everyday
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every day
show examples
so they want to enjoy their free
time
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with no restrictions. Those guys don't mind wasting a huge
time
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just
to choose
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choosing
show examples
their
favour
Replace the word
favorite
show examples
destination for their holidays,cost an arm and a leg to buy the clothes from popular brands or just simple as gathering with their parents and talking about their days. Those activities will provide young
people
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with a number of communication
skills
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which are really good to build up beneficial
realationship
Correct your spelling
relationship
. They
also
Linking Words
own quite a variety of noble characteristics
for instance
Linking Words
honest
Replace the word
honesty
show examples
, generosity, courage and a heart of gold.
Nevertheless
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, those
yongsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
might not concentrate on their academic studies so that they can't get high salary work which can guarantee an
adquate
Correct your spelling
adequate
living standard for them. To summarise, both ways of spending
time
Use synonyms
are very beneficial
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
for young
people
Use synonyms
who are energetic and full of hopes, but they should balance these two ways in order to get success in not only
career
Correct pronoun usage
their career
show examples
path but
also
Linking Words
social
Change preposition
in social
show examples
life.
Submitted by nguyentatthang1981 on

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