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Band 5.5

Some people believe that the experience children have before they go to school will have greatest effect on their life. Others argue that experience gained when they are teenager have a bigger influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #effect #life #teenager #influence
Certain
Add an article
A certain
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of individuals consider that the encounter that youngsters have during preschool age have a significant
impact
 on their upcoming years.
However
, others think that their
experience
 after
school
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
substantial
Add an article
a substantial
show examples
influence
 on them. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 what children learn during the adolescence stage is what really matters because
this
 will either make or mar their later
life
. On the one hand, those who are of the view that the knowledge gained by minors during their prime age
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a huge
impact
 on their future believe that
this
 is the early part of their
life
. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they have not started
school
,
however
, they learn various things at home from parents, uncles as well as aunties.
Moreso
Correct your spelling
More so
show examples
, they can virtually different right attitudes from the wrong ones.
As a result
, they tend to synthesize almost every
experience
 they come across and as they grow up with
this
, it
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
 their later
life
 either positively or negatively. To exemplify, a boy who grew up with a father
that is
 an adept smoker will by no means become a proficient smoker in his forthcoming years because he has already viewed
this
 habit as a good lifestyle and he is liable to die young
as a result
 of smoking.
On the other hand
, other humans opined that children's
experience
 during
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
show examples
 period greatly
influence
 their future
life
 and l agree with
this
.
This
 is because, during
this
 period, they do not only learn from their biological parents
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 encounter other people
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 friends and casual acquaintances. On top of
this
, they mingle with
school mates
Correct your spelling
schoolmates
show examples
 in their various
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
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. It is worthy to know that
such
 individuals can easily
influence
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adolescents
Change to a genitive case
adolescent's
adolescents'
show examples
life
.
For instance
, a study carried out by four Nigerian Scientists concluded that 80% of juvenile deliquescence
such
 as alcoholism, rape, and smoking emanate from peer group
influence
.
Furthermore
, they have the right to make a better
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 for their
life
 at
this
 stage.
For example
, a person who wants to become a doctor or Nurse in the future fully
understand
Correct subject-verb agreement
understands
show examples
 that he or she needs to study well in order to achieve his or her ambition. In view of
this
, l believe, the adolescence period has an enormous
impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the upcoming years of the young ones. In conclusion, while some scholars agree that the
experience
 youngsters have before attending
school
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a considerable
influence
 on them, l believe that what children encounter as teenagers greatly
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
 them in time to come.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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