IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to globalization, migration of families to other
countries
Use synonyms
 is gradually increasing for better
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
,
education
Use synonyms
, or employment. Some people claim that immigration will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to more challenges
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
 in these families;
however
Linking Words
, in my perspective migrated
children
Use synonyms
 have more advantages, in the below paragraphs, I explain both views. On the one hand, one cannot deny that
immigaration
Correct your spelling
immigration
 to a new country is a difficult situation for
children
Use synonyms
 as it
distract
Change the verb form
distracts
show examples
 their
education
Use synonyms
 and
lose
Change the verb form
loses
show examples
 local friends.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, when parents migrate to
oveseas
Correct your spelling
overseas
 their kids
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to stop
education
Use synonyms
 in a home country and switch to a new school
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leads to
a greater consequences
Correct the article-noun agreement
greater consequences
a greater consequence
show examples
 as the
students
Use synonyms
 are not aware of a new syllabus and curriculum, it takes a lot of time and energy to adjust to a new school environment.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
education
Use synonyms
, youth feel homesick as they miss local friends and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 able to make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new friends
immediatly
Correct your spelling
immediately
 in a new place due to barriers like cultures, languages and traditions.
Thus
Linking Words
, migration is challenging to adjust to
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
new education systems
a new education system
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 systems and difficult to make fresh friendships.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, migrating to developed
countries
Use synonyms
 comes up with benefits like better
education
Use synonyms
 and more job opportunities.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many developed
countries
Use synonyms
 across the globe provide free
education
Use synonyms
 which helps
Linking Words
this kids
Change the determiner
this kid
these kids
show examples
 to study courses of their desire without worrying about
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
 government provides better and free
education
Use synonyms
 for all
children
Use synonyms
 irrespective of their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 financial situation.
Besides
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
,
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 market in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 is always open for everyone so
such
Linking Words
 overseas
students
Use synonyms
 can easily
grap
Correct your spelling
grab
grasp
 an employment opportunity.
Thus
Linking Words
, overseas
students
Use synonyms
 have a scope to learn for no fees and
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 variety of job opportunities.
Finally
Linking Words
, to
racpitulate
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of families migrating to a new country is significantly increasing,
Although
Linking Words
 some people claim immigrant
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 life will be a more difficult due to
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new education system
new education systems
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 systems and culture;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, In my opinion, eventually, kids adjust to an environment so must consider longterm the aforementioned overseas student benefits like better
education
Use synonyms
 and employment opportunities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Globalization
  • Opportunities
  • Diversity
  • Assimilation
  • Adaptability
  • Language acquisition
  • Education
  • Career prospects
  • Social connections
  • Isolation
  • Cultural identity
  • Support systems
  • Parental guidance
  • Ambiguous
What to do next:
Look at other essays: