IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Wealthy countries should acceptor refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what do you agree or disagree?

#countries #acceptor #refugees #assistance #food
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Insecurity and terrorism is increasing at an alarming rate in some
countries
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 recently leading to a sharp rise in the number of
refugees
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 in these
countries
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. Developed
countries
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 should welcome
such
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 individuals and cater for their domestic needs for
humanity
Change noun form
humanity's
show examples
 sake and because they will be of great value to the
country
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.
To begin
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 with , every human has the right to life.
Refugees
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 are human beings and should be given the privilege to live when they are displaced from their natural environment.
For example
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 In northern Nigeria where
terrorist
Fix the agreement mistake
terrorists
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 have attacked some towns and the residents sought refuge in neighbouring
countries
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. They should be welcomed and taken care of for
humanity
Change noun form
humanity's
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 sake because they have
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 to life. Every human has a right to live and for
these
Change the determiner
this reason
these reasons
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reason
Add a comma
,reason
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 they should be accepted by
countries
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 capable of supplying their needs. Moreso, when fully acclimatized
refugees
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 can be of immense
benefits
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benefit
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 to rich
countries
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. Taking china
for example
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it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 acceptance of Ukrainian
refugees
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 due to the ongoing Russian invasion has led to an increase in the Chinese workforce .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the technological advancement in the
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refugees
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refugee's
refugees'
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 home
country
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 can be brought to the new
country
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 leading to technological
collaborate
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collaboration
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 and advancement. In conclusion, I agree with the opinion that rich
countries
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 should accept
refugees
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 for
humanity
Change noun form
humanity's
show examples
 sake and because they can be of immense
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 to the new
country
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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