IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say government should give priority to healthcare while others believe taxpayers money should be spent on other important priorities Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #priority #healthcare #taxpayers #money #priorities
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An adage
say's
Correct your spelling
says
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 that
health
Use synonyms
 is wealth and
this
Linking Words
 has made a few people
to
Change the verb form
apply
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suggest that the government should prioritize
health
Use synonyms
 care whereas others are of the opinion that more funds should be spent on other essential sectors of the country. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss either
views
Change to a singular noun
view
show examples
 and make my opinion known. On the one hand,
Health
Use synonyms
 care is an innegligble
sector
Use synonyms
 of every country because it determines the
health
Use synonyms
 status of its
citizens
Use synonyms
. Money collected from taxpayers should be used to improve the
health
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 by building and equipping hospitals as well as subsidizing the cost of healthcare for consumers.
For example
Linking Words
 in developed countries where the hospital is fully equipped with adequate equipment and manpower, the
citizens
Use synonyms
 are healthy and their creativity maximized resulting
into
Change preposition
in
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 increased productivity and
boost
Correct article usage
a boost
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 in
economy
Add an article
the economy
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
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citizens
Use synonyms
 will produce a growing economy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is noteworthy to say that
health
Use synonyms
 is not the only significant aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a nation. There are other essential sectors
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education, infrastructure and Industry.
These unit
Change the determiner
This unit
These units
show examples
also
Linking Words
 require finance to function maximally and they
also
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Influences
Change the verb form
Influence
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 a nation's development.
For instance
Linking Words
 , a good educational
sector
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 will attract international recognition which can lead to
immigration
Add an article
the immigration
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 of brilliant students to study who might eventually be of immense
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
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 to the country.
Next
Linking Words
 is infrastructure, efficient infrastructural development will improve the standard of living for
citizens
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 while an excellent industrial development will attract international investors and create job opportunities for indigenes. In my opinion, no
sector
Use synonyms
 of a nation is insignificant
hence
Linking Words
 the government should strike a balance and make budgets based on identified needs.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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