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Band 5

Some people say government should give priority to healthcare while others believe taxpayers money should be spent on other important priorities Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #priority #healthcare #taxpayers #money #priorities
An adage
say's
Correct your spelling
says
show examples
 that
health
 is wealth and
this
 has made a few people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
suggest that the government should prioritize
health
 care whereas others are of the opinion that more funds should be spent on other essential sectors of the country. In
this
 essay, I will discuss either
views
Change to a singular noun
view
show examples
 and make my opinion known. On the one hand,
Health
 care is an innegligble
sector
 of every country because it determines the
health
 status of its
citizens
. Money collected from taxpayers should be used to improve the
health
sector
 by building and equipping hospitals as well as subsidizing the cost of healthcare for consumers.
For example
 in developed countries where the hospital is fully equipped with adequate equipment and manpower, the
citizens
 are healthy and their creativity maximized resulting
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 increased productivity and
boost
Correct article usage
a boost
show examples
 in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.
Therefore
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
citizens
 will produce a growing economy.
On the other hand
, it is noteworthy to say that
health
 is not the only significant aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a nation. There are other essential sectors
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education, infrastructure and Industry.
These unit
Change the determiner
This unit
These units
show examples
also
 require finance to function maximally and they
also
Influences
Change the verb form
Influence
show examples
 a nation's development.
For instance
 , a good educational
sector
 will attract international recognition which can lead to
immigration
Add an article
the immigration
show examples
 of brilliant students to study who might eventually be of immense
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 to the country.
Next
 is infrastructure, efficient infrastructural development will improve the standard of living for
citizens
 while an excellent industrial development will attract international investors and create job opportunities for indigenes. In my opinion, no
sector
 of a nation is insignificant
hence
 the government should strike a balance and make budgets based on identified needs.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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