Write about the following topic. With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#topic #improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers

this

technical era, everyone

busy

Add a missing verb

is busy

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

their hectic schedule. They have no time for their family even

some

Correct word choice

if some

show examples

people live out of the state or nation. They have no time for the elderly masses. I will discuss my viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs and I will

also

discuss how can

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

be managed. To commence with, The increasing ratio of older people can be more burden on society. Because the

government

has to spend more

money

to take care of them they have to generate more funds for the medicine and the daily needs of the oldest people.

For example

, The

government

gives them

money

as a pension. Due to

this

, the youngster feels pressure because they have to pay more

money

as a face of tax

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why they do not cope with them. Moving

further

, The masses have to save

money

for old

age

. Because, when they are in old

age

than

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

they can utilize that

money

for the

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their basic needs and for the health treatment.

Hence

, In

future

Add a comma

,future

show examples

they do not depend on others they their life in on way and live an independent life.

For instance

, The

government

cut some salaries of the

government

employers and when they retire from their job

then

the

government

give them that

money

as a

funds

Correct the article-noun agreement

fund

show examples

. With the help of

this

money

Add a comma

,money

show examples

they live their entire life as a

self dependent

Add a hyphen

self-dependent

show examples

. To conclude, The

government

has to make a strict policy to manage

this

. they have to get

money

from everyone as

Change the article

show examples

old

age

tax and due to

this

money

Add a comma

,money

show examples

they can easily manage them without any problem or burden. because in old

age

they utilize our

money

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

others. which they pay as

Change the article

show examples

old

age

tax.

Submitted by gsdpatti on Mon Jun 13 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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