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Writing Samples
Band 8

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#violence #playgrounds #parents #children
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Incidents in playgrounds are dramatically increased nowadays which have been raised
parents
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’ and educators’ concerns. Some people think that
parents
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 should educate
children
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 not to fight back when they are attacked. I agree with
this
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 statement with my explanation below as well as providing examples to support my view. To commence with,
parents
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 and teachers have the responsibilities to teach
children
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 to ensure safety when they are in trouble. In the case of being bullied,
children
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 do not need to fight against bullies to protect themselves. They should leave the danger as far as possible and
then
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 report it to adults who are reliable
such
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 as teachers and
parents
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instead
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 of solving problems by
violence
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.
On the other hand
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, teaching
children
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 to hit back in reacting to bullies would do more harm than good for the emotional and moral development of
children
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. Encouraging students to use
violence
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 to deal with bullies at school would potentially mislead
children
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 to tackle problems in friendships and siblings using
violence
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.
For instance
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, when
children
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 are bullied at school by an older one or a stronger one, they tend to hit or insult their siblings in the same way.
Moreover
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, it is important for
parents
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 as are role models to teach respect for each other and be friendly to people for their
children
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.
For example
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, parental roles can educate
children
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 to inform teachers when they are bullied or encounter bullied cases and avoided to involve in bullies’ cases. In conclusion, educating
children
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 in non-
violence
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 methods against
violence
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 is an appreciated method to protect
children
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 and develop a peaceful society for them.
Submitted by sarasasa19 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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