IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is no sense of community anymore. Discus the causes and suggests measures that might deal with this situation.

#cities #people #neighbors #sense #community #discus #measures #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some ,cities there has been an increased number of individuals that do not have any social interactions with their neighbours or with any other person in the area they live in. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
 and how
this
 could be dealt with in the future. Nowadays,
people
 living in the same buildings do not have any social interactions with others that live in the same complex. The reason for
this
 is that
people
 are less social in modern times compared to back in the days.
For instance
, a recent study that was done in Melbourne
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 showed that in 1987 majority of the folks residing in the same building shared meals and conversations with each other. While in the year 2021,
people
 have more social anxiety due to the covid pandemic that went on for about three years and chose to avoid others to avoid getting sick.
In addition
 , during the pandemic
people
 around the world were encouraged to stay at least 1.5 meters apart from other humans to avoid catching covid.
Which humans
Correct pronoun usage
Humans
show examples
 around the globe got social anxiety and started to feel unsafe while interacting socially with
people
 living in the same building and in the suburb. To deal with
this
 a lot of communities around the globe have started having social gatherings regularly, so the
people
 living around them can have a chance to socially interact with other human beings.
For example
, a community near my home has started
women's
Correct article usage
a women's
show examples
 and men's shed club. Where the residents can come and enjoy a coffee and at the same time have a chat with other residents living in the same area. In conclusion, a majority of
people
 avoid having any social interactions with others, which is
also
 due to the recent pandemic that affected a lot of them hard. In saying that, having social clubs could help improve these folks' social skills and let them interact with other
people
 living on the same block.
Submitted by sabinakapidzic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: