It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Human
Add an article
A human
The human
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being is one of the key factors in today's modern society.
As a result
, some believe that it is essential to allocate more money to trigger people
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
healthier than studying treatments for the illness. From my perspective, I disagree with
this
statement because of the following reasons. On the one hand, the more money uses to promote citizens, the more awareness those understand about
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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lifestyle. Building many facilitated public parks,
for instance
, will encourage dwellers
being
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to be
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active, doing more
excerise
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exercise
or
outdoor
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doing outdoor
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activities there. It can lead to
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
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the
Change preposition
in the
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number of adults safeguard from some problems related to their bones.
Moreover
, children and doodlers will have
a spacious outdoor areas
Correct the article-noun agreement
a spacious outdoor area
spacious outdoor areas
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to play with their friends,
instead
of staying home all day long,
addicting
Wrong verb form
addicted
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in
Change preposition
to
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video games.
As a result
, it might cut down the rate of obesity
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
these ages.
On the other hand
, the cure is the biggest concern to lengthen
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life expectancy. There are many diseases which do not related to the lifestyle
threatren
Correct your spelling
threaten
human life recently. The Covid-19 pandemic,
for example
. stems
Correct your spelling
from
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form
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from
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the virus which made the death of
meny
Correct your spelling
many
people around the world even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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are healthy or not.
Therefore
, living in
healthier
Add an article
a healthier
the healthier
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way just help human reduce the effects of
sicks
Replace the word
sickness
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,
it
Correct word choice
but it
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can not protect them certainly from some
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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world-wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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illnesses.
In addition
, not all people can have a chance to live
health
Replace the word
healthy
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even though they
aware
Add a missing verb
are aware
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of that due to their
hetic
Correct your spelling
hectic
lifestyles. In conclusion, producing medicines for illness should be the
first
priority to
maintance
Correct your spelling
maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human life,
instead
of
allocate
Change the verb form
allocating
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budgets to stimulate healthier lifestyles.
Submitted by studywithmee.2022 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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