Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Sports
events
play an integral role in everyone's life and promoting a product on the
fields
Fix the agreement mistake
field
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brings with it benefits for all.
However
, there are many
people
who perceive that it's wrong to advertise
products
during
such
events
. I, completely disagree with the statement because it not only helps in making
people
brand
cautious but
also
helps firms to increase their sales. To
embark
Verb problem
begin
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with, it is always beneficial to promote different commodities during a match as it makes
people
aware of the
brand
.
In other words
, there are many
people
who come across certain
products
only when they attend
such
events
. Fans usually like to try all
such
things which are being promoted by their role models.
For example
, a report shows how a
brand
name
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
popular after a
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
show examples
advertised
about
Change preposition
apply
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it on his t-shirt.
Therefore
, it helps in making the
brand
value of the commodity.
On the other hand
,
such
promotions
also
help in increasing the sales of the product. To be more specific, when a commodity is being used by a
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
show examples
, it becomes a trend and everyone wants to buy it which in turn helps in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
selling at a large scale.
For instance
, after Sachin Tendulkar scored 100 in an ODI match, the sales for the MRF bats increased manifolds.
This
not only helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large companies to sell a vast amount of
products
but
also
helps in the generation of profits. In conclusion, it is inevitable to say that promotion only
brings
Verb problem
has
show examples
a positive impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
. I, strongly recommend, that firms should keep on promoting
products
during these
events
as it helps in making
people
aware of the
brand
and
also
helps companies to earn profit.
Submitted by meghaseth20 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a more distinct separation between paragraphs by clearly stating the main idea of each paragraph. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
In the introduction, provide a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses to what extent you agree or disagree with the statement. This helps to set a clear direction for your essay.
Task Achievement
Work on enhancing your arguments with stronger supporting points and additional details. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and related to the topic, providing a good structure for your essay.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the impact of Sachin Tendulkar's 100 in an ODI match on MRF bat sales, strengthens your argument and makes your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with distinct paragraphs, each addressing a different aspect of the topic. This contributes to the coherence and readability of your essay.
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