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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays children has become more addicted to TV and because of that their physical activity level is decreasing. what can be cause and possible solution to that ?

#children #tv #activity #level
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TV set Media have become the modern society illusion, whether educational channels and celebrities world has tackled some uncertain concentrations.
In contrast
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,
this
Linking Words
 powerful entertainment might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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outweigh relevant issues to younger watchers from decreasing physician actives.
Additionally
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, my demonstrated point
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
 will resonate
Television
Use synonyms
 is the most impact motivation on individual basics toward cultural perspectives.
Firstly
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, Global Newsfeeds are mainstreaming on
Television
Use synonyms
 and Networking platforms;
hence
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 most infants are reaching up the earlier intention.
Thus
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, the subsequent timeframe is going to be delayed from
a
Remove the article
apply
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diving the amount of work and personal hobbies.
Additionally
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, offsprings learn optimistic lifestyles from
Television
Use synonyms
 consisting of conceptual communication to merge realistic expectations.
For instance
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, more than half of young adults in the U.S suffer from social depression. It acrosses their misunderstanding about school environments, which should be considered as a kindly organization.
Therefore
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, these vivid supplements are context to language development and terminate public confidence.
Secondly
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, some inconstant habits increase the unproductivity at the primary stages. Parents and instructors must have brought new attention that will prevent wrong habits to children's outcomes. In Southeast Asia, every secondary school, mostly, prohibit activating mobile devices in classes and surrounding areas.
Therefore
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, their purpose is to bring realistic activities and excitement established with friends and other supporters. These resolved rules are explicated agreements between parents and school principles that are firmed infant's impractical importance. In conclusion, not only young ages would like to spend valuable childhood on
Television
Use synonyms
, but
also
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 adults are felt
this
Linking Words
 challenging difficulty.
However
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, impulse attention to real-life must admire the better results, as well as effects on healthcare
condition
Add the comma(s)
,condition
show examples
 arise nicely commitment.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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