Courses in music and art should be compulsory for student in high school. Do you agree or disagree with the idea.

#courses #music #art #student #school #idea

Over the

last

decade,

arts

are becoming more popular in the world. The importance of art and music

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

mandatory in high school

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

was always debatable but now it is more controversial. I believe that

brain

Correct article usage

the brain

show examples

would be more stimulated with extracurricular activities

such

arts

crafts

, and dance and why

Add a missing verb

am I

show examples

accepting

Wrong verb form

show examples

this

notion and explained

Change preposition

apply

show examples

further

. In fact,

arts

and music are not only giving entertainment but

also

play a significant role in humans. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

brain

Add an article

the brain

show examples

is being activated with extracurricular activities and improves the creativity in the students.

Moreover

, these days

crafts

and composing are becoming a profession

as a result

those are led to

discovery

Add an article

the discovery

show examples

, innovation, and research. One clear example is that, if a person is having an interest in

arts

then

he could be more energetic and they can acquire anything in that area. Some public

argue

Change the verb form

argues

show examples

that if a student

having

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

an extra activities

Correct the article-noun agreement

extra activities

an extra activity

show examples

then

they can

be easily attract

Change the verb form

be easily attracted

show examples

to distractions and might not be good at education. Actually,

education

Change noun form

education's

show examples

final goal is to generate more income.

Nevertheless

, studies

are not only give

Change the verb form

are not only given

are not only giving

show examples

money but hobbies are

also

becoming to generate money.

For instance

, photography is

also

Change the article

show examples

art and now it is a profession

and

Correct word choice

that

show examples

earning a huge amount of

proft

Correct your spelling

profit

. Government should encourage to learn

crafts

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

early age. In conclusion,

arts

and music are gifted actions, everybody can not achieve them.

However

, in my point of view schooling system must encourage to go through in

crafts

then

students are being improved in that and it is led to improvement in academics

also

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Courses in music and art should be compulsory for student in high school. Do you agree or disagree with the idea.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Why teenagers are on the rise doing criminal activities worldwide?what are the causes and possible solutions

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

People today are more concerned with owing material possession than with developing friendships and family relationship. To what extent do you agree with this statement?