IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People spend too much time on the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #internet
These days, the
internet
 plays a vital role in
daily
Add an article
the daily
show examples
 life of everyone as it enables
people
 to search for information, remotely communicate with other, get entertainment, and so on.
However
, many
people
 including me believe that nowadays society spends over much
time
 on the
internet
. In
this
 essay, I will clarify what makes
people
 spend too much
time
 on the
internet
.
First
 of all, the
internet
 is significant for working, and it is needed to be open all the
time
 when you are in the office.
For example
, I have to spend at least 7 – 8
hours
 working on the
internet
.
Secondly
, nowadays
people
 have smartphones, which are always connected to the
internet
.
Therefore
, apart from working at the office for 7 – 8
hours
, they can be on the
internet
 anywhere and anytime.
This
 is dangerous because they’re able to be on the
internet
 even if they are driving and walking, which contributes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accident or tragedies. In conclusion,
people
 spend too much
time
 on the
internet
 as they have to work with it for long
hours
 and when they finish working, they use the
internet
 to be entertained.
Therefore
, more than 12
hours
 a day, which is around 50 per cent of
lifetimetime
Correct your spelling
lifetime time
 per day is being used
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
internet
. For the aforementioned reason, I agree with the statement.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive
  • negatively affects
  • physical and mental health
  • decreased productivity
  • hinders personal growth
  • internet addiction
  • essential
  • numerous benefits
  • productive
  • educational
  • wisely
  • individual choice
  • responsibility
  • manage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: