Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
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It is proven that being overweight has become a bigger problem for kids in Australia, so many people think that it should be education facilities that ought to take care of
this
problem. In my point of ,view it is also
a parent's responsibility to look after what their children eat.
Firstly
, the young generation suffers from collective habits, such
as getting everything easy and quick, they tend to use specific apps to order food, which is quite simple even for little ones. My friend's child is 9 and he already knows how to order Mcdonald's. That's one of the big problems and especially if it is restricted by their parents. It is a lot bigger pleasure to get something that's forbidden. Secondly
I think there should be a habit of eating a good meal at home, which is made of more quality products, so kids still have their tasty snacks, just healthier. And of course, sport should be a must in every home, every morning each member of a family should show on their own example how to do at least 15 minutes work out. Setting a good example is a big deal.
Add a comma
,Secondly
However
, schools are responsible as well, if they have a good choice of foods, available to everyone's tastes, maybe that might decrease the number of kids craving fast food. And interesting sports classes with great competitions would interest children more in getting a healthier lifestyle. For ,example if there would be such
a thing as setting up a goal in schools for sports achievements with some kind of prize for that.
In conclusion, I think it is both parents and the education system's call to help youngsters to stay on a healthy way of life and do sports as well as eat healthy food.Submitted by enika2009 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite