Besides a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write 250 words.

#people #internet

It is often argued that many

people

believe that the

internet

has a lot of advantages but at the same time, it causes many problems in society. I strongly agree with

this

statement because the

internet

has no

barrier

Fix the agreement mistake

barriers

show examples

and can increase the new way of crime.

Firstly

, the

internet

is an open space that all

people

of all ages, generations, and backgrounds can access.

Besides

, it

is allowed

Wrong verb form

allows

show examples

them to share everything that they want and there are no limitations.

For example

, everyone can share their opinion on social media without any barrier, sadly sometimes they share their hate speech with others.

Consequently

, some

people

committed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

suicide. Even though there are many advantages of the

internet

, at the same time, no limitation can ruin someone's life. Another reason is currently there are an increasing number of crimes on the

internet

In other words

people

can buy goods through the

internet

however

, many

people

experience a scam when purchasing online.

For example

, in my experience, when I purchased an electronic device, I got fraud as the goods

did

Verb problem

were

show examples

not

send

Wrong verb form

sent

show examples

once I finished the payment.

Hence

, the

Internet

makes us more convenient but we need to be careful when using it, especially in an online transaction. To summarize, even though some

people

believe the

internet

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

advantages, I strongly agree that it can cause harm to society because there are no boundaries,

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result, it increases the crime rate. As a user, we need to be wise and aware of using it, particularly in online businesses.

Submitted by miarosmia8 on Thu Jun 16 2022

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Task Response

Provide a clearer stance on the statement and ensure all body paragraphs support the main argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the structure of the introduction and conclusion to better present the main argument and the essay's major points.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

E-commerce
Consumer behavior
Virtual marketplace
Cybersecurity
Digital footprint
Return policy
Comparison shopping
Customer reviews
Retail therapy
Logistics
User interface
Payment gateway

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Besides a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write 250 words.

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