Besides a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write 250 words.

It is often argued that many
people
believe that the
internet
has a lot of advantages but at the same time, it causes many problems in society. I strongly agree with
this
statement because the
internet
has no
barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
show examples
and can increase the new way of crime.
Firstly
, the
internet
is an open space that all
people
of all ages, generations, and backgrounds can access.
Besides
, it
is allowed
Wrong verb form
allows
show examples
them to share everything that they want and there are no limitations.
For example
, everyone can share their opinion on social media without any barrier, sadly sometimes they share their hate speech with others.
Consequently
, some
people
committed
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
suicide. Even though there are many advantages of the
internet
, at the same time, no limitation can ruin someone's life. Another reason is currently there are an increasing number of crimes on the
internet
.
In other words
,
people
can buy goods through the
internet
,
however
, many
people
experience a scam when purchasing online.
For example
, in my experience, when I purchased an electronic device, I got fraud as the goods
did
Verb problem
were
show examples
not
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
once I finished the payment.
Hence
, the
Internet
makes us more convenient but we need to be careful when using it, especially in an online transaction. To summarize, even though some
people
believe the
internet
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
advantages, I strongly agree that it can cause harm to society because there are no boundaries,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result, it increases the crime rate. As a user, we need to be wise and aware of using it, particularly in online businesses.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Provide a clearer stance on the statement and ensure all body paragraphs support the main argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the structure of the introduction and conclusion to better present the main argument and the essay's major points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: