Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #patients #health

Every day medical

science

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scientists

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are discovering new medicines and treatments for

many

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any

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disease

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diseases

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Parallel

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In parallel

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are

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are also witnessing

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also

witness that

people

are getting more

disease

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diseases

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there

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their

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life style

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lifestyle

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are changing. Many

people

debating

Wrong verb form

debate

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responsibility

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the responsibility

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doctors

they

Correct word choice

whether they

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should teach their patients

about

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apply

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how to improve their

health

. I am not

complete

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completely

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agree with

this

statement.

Firstly

, no offence that some

people

are

have

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has

show examples

different

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the different

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condition

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conditions

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by birth or nature defect in their

body

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bodies

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However

most

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a most

the most

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common

reason

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reasons

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for

human

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humans

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is getting sick

are

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their habits and lifestyle.

People

are eating lots of junk food even

they

Correct word choice

though they

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know it is not good for their

health

Further more

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Furthermore

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every one

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everyone

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know exercise

are

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off for heath but

still

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,still

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most of the propel

are

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show examples

ignoring it.

For example

, my friend

eat

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eats

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too

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much

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many

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chips. now he is overweight and it's

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a related

show examples

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to complication

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complication

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complications

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in his body. he

know

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knows

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the reality and still eats chips and

not

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does not

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doing

Wrong verb form

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any exercise

Secondly

, not only

doctors

but

government

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the government

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also

making efforts to bring awareness for

health

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show examples

people

. For

instant

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an instant

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, many hospitals are holding the awareness for

woman

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women

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and children.

Government

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The government

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also

do camping in countries for

heath

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health

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and hygiene.

However

, very few

doctors

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

just give the medicine when

patient

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patients

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come and

not

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do not

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explain why they get sick or how to prevent in feature. If they give

bit

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a bit

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information

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of information

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about

patient's

Correct article usage

the patient's

show examples

condition and explain how it

happen

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happens

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, it will bring awareness

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show examples

them. To

be conclude

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conclude

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, habits and lifestyle

are plays

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play

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vital

Correct article usage

a vital

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role

for

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show examples

our

health

. Government and

doctors

are helping us, how to become and live

healthy

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a healthy

show examples

life but it is

individual's

Correct article usage

the individual's

show examples

responsibility to follow the advice.

Submitted by nic86 on Thu Jun 16 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic approach
preventive measures
chronic diseases
medical interventions
healthcare professionals
consultations
dietitians
health educators
literacy skills
visual aids
digital tools
reputable online resources
community programs
ongoing support
patient outcomes
initial guidance
mitigated
follow-up consultations

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Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe that using a bicycle as your main form of transport has a lot of advantages whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is more and more outrage and anger common in society today. Why is this? is this a positive or a negative development?

Every culture, throughout time, has recorded its history in one way or another. in what ways can history be passed on to the next generation? why is history important to society?