Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #patients #health

Every day medical

science

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scientists

show examples

are discovering new medicines and treatments for

many

Correct your spelling

any

show examples

disease

Change to a plural noun

diseases

show examples

Parallel

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In parallel

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are

Change the verb form

are also witnessing

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also

witness that

people

are getting more

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

there

Correct your spelling

their

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life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

are changing. Many

people

debating

Wrong verb form

debate

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responsibility

Add an article

the responsibility

show examples

doctors

they

Correct word choice

whether they

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should teach their patients

about

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apply

show examples

how to improve their

health

. I am not

complete

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completely

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agree with

this

statement.

Firstly

, no offence that some

people

are

have

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has

show examples

different

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the different

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condition

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conditions

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by birth or nature defect in their

body

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bodies

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However

most

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a most

the most

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common

reason

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reasons

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for

human

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humans

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is getting sick

are

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show examples

their habits and lifestyle.

People

are eating lots of junk food even

they

Correct word choice

though they

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know it is not good for their

health

Further more

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Furthermore

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every one

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everyone

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know exercise

are

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show examples

off for heath but

still

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,still

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most of the propel

are

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show examples

ignoring it.

For example

, my friend

eat

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eats

show examples

Replace the word

too

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much

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many

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chips. now he is overweight and it's

Add an article

a related

show examples

Change preposition

to complication

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complication

Fix the agreement mistake

complications

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in his body. he

know

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knows

show examples

the reality and still eats chips and

not

Add a missing verb

does not

show examples

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

any exercise

Secondly

, not only

doctors

but

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

also

making efforts to bring awareness for

health

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show examples

people

. For

instant

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an instant

show examples

, many hospitals are holding the awareness for

woman

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women

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and children.

Government

Add an article

The government

show examples

also

do camping in countries for

heath

Correct your spelling

health

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and hygiene.

However

, very few

doctors

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

just give the medicine when

patient

Fix the agreement mistake

patients

show examples

come and

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

explain why they get sick or how to prevent in feature. If they give

bit

Correct article usage

a bit

show examples

information

Change preposition

of information

show examples

about

patient's

Correct article usage

the patient's

show examples

condition and explain how it

happen

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happens

show examples

, it will bring awareness

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show examples

them. To

be conclude

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conclude

show examples

, habits and lifestyle

are plays

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play

show examples

vital

Correct article usage

a vital

show examples

role

for

Change preposition

show examples

our

health

. Government and

doctors

are helping us, how to become and live

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

life but it is

individual's

Correct article usage

the individual's

show examples

responsibility to follow the advice.

Submitted by nic86 on Thu Jun 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It has been more than 40 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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