Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #patients #health

Every day medical

science

Replace the word

scientists

show examples

are discovering new medicines and treatments for

many

Correct your spelling

any

show examples

disease

Change to a plural noun

diseases

show examples

Parallel

Change preposition

In parallel

show examples

are

Change the verb form

are also witnessing

show examples

also

witness that

people

are getting more

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

are changing. Many

people

debating

Wrong verb form

debate

show examples

responsibility

Add an article

the responsibility

show examples

doctors

they

Correct word choice

whether they

show examples

should teach their patients

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how to improve their

health

. I am not

complete

Replace the word

completely

show examples

agree with

this

statement.

Firstly

, no offence that some

people

are

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

different

Add an article

the different

show examples

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

by birth or nature defect in their

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

However

most

Add an article

a most

the most

show examples

common

reason

Change the noun form

reasons

show examples

for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

is getting sick

are

Change the verb form

show examples

their habits and lifestyle.

People

are eating lots of junk food even

they

Correct word choice

though they

show examples

know it is not good for their

health

Further more

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

show examples

every one

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

know exercise

are

Change the verb form

show examples

off for heath but

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

most of the propel

are

Change the verb form

show examples

ignoring it.

For example

, my friend

eat

Change the verb form

eats

show examples

Replace the word

too

show examples

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

chips. now he is overweight and it's

Add an article

a related

show examples

Change preposition

to complication

show examples

complication

Fix the agreement mistake

complications

show examples

in his body. he

know

Change the verb form

knows

show examples

the reality and still eats chips and

not

Add a missing verb

does not

show examples

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

any exercise

Secondly

, not only

doctors

but

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

also

making efforts to bring awareness for

health

Change preposition

show examples

people

. For

instant

Add an article

an instant

show examples

, many hospitals are holding the awareness for

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

and children.

Government

Add an article

The government

show examples

also

do camping in countries for

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

and hygiene.

However

, very few

doctors

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

just give the medicine when

patient

Fix the agreement mistake

patients

show examples

come and

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

explain why they get sick or how to prevent in feature. If they give

bit

Correct article usage

a bit

show examples

information

Change preposition

of information

show examples

about

patient's

Correct article usage

the patient's

show examples

condition and explain how it

happen

Change the verb form

happens

show examples

, it will bring awareness

Change preposition

show examples

them. To

be conclude

Change the verb form

conclude

show examples

, habits and lifestyle

are plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

vital

Correct article usage

a vital

show examples

role

for

Change preposition

show examples

our

health

. Government and

doctors

are helping us, how to become and live

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

life but it is

individual's

Correct article usage

the individual's

show examples

responsibility to follow the advice.

Submitted by nic86 on Thu Jun 16 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

holistic approach
preventive measures
chronic diseases
medical interventions
healthcare professionals
consultations
dietitians
health educators
literacy skills
visual aids
digital tools
reputable online resources
community programs
ongoing support
patient outcomes
initial guidance
mitigated
follow-up consultations

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Walking is known to be beneficial for health but these days the number of people walking has reduced a lot. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this situation?
Walking is believed to be advantageous for health, nevertheless, there is a decreasing number of people walking nowadays. This is because in modern society, people prefer to surfing the internet and using high-tech tools to improve their health instead of walking. To deal with this phenomenon, the authorities should propagate more about the drawbacks of not walking regularly and encourage residents to use walking machines.
4.5
band
While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attantion to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Employers consider many factors when hiring new staff. Some argue that personal traits of a potential employee are more important than their qualifications and experience. I tend to disagree.
4.5
band
It is becoming more and more difficult to eacape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.
In this modernize epoch,everyboday is connected by social websites so,it is extremely hard for them to get rid off from the charm of it.Widest use have some merits as well as demerits.In this essay,I will discuss both advantages and drawbacks with appropriate examples.
5.5
band
Write about the following topic: In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent times countries have grown at a rapid rate with public transport and inter city travel a key component for their growth. While some argue the importance for public transport within the cities, others argue the need for fast railway line between locations. In believe spending money on both is essential for the betterment of the city and country as a whole. In the essay I will be discussing both views and give my conclusion.
4.5
band
Some people believe that studying for a university degree us better for an individual's career than gaining work experience immediately after high school. To what extend do you agree with this statement?
A university degree is considered to be an important aspect for supporting a career, rather than working right after graduate from high school. I and some people are those who are agree with the importance of gaining a university degree immediately after graduation.

Doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to improve their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Walking is known to be beneficial for health but these days the number of people walking has reduced a lot. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this situation?

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attantion to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is becoming more and more difficult to eacape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

Some people believe that studying for a university degree us better for an individual's career than gaining work experience immediately after high school. To what extend do you agree with this statement?