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Band 5

Prisoners should be sent to prisons for crimes committee. What's your opinion

#prisoners #prisons #crimes #committee
In modern
society
, the majority of
society
 believes that
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 who broke the law they should be sent to jail for
crimes
 committed. I firmly stand that prisoners should take their criminal responsibility and be separated from other
society
.
First
 of all,
society
 should have a common sense of rule for everyone has to live equally. That means, every person can have their own responsibility and is
also
 protected by the law.
For example
, if someone made wrong actions to harmed onto other
people
's lives, that should be punished by judgement and sent to prison. Because if someone's crime was proved by a judge,
for example
, when taken human
life
 would have been punished, that can save a number of
people
's
life
.
Second
, bad
people
 can lead to a bad influence on the community. If there is someone who has had actions in
broken
Change the form of the verb
breaking
show examples
 the law financially, physically or mentally, not
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sent to prison, it might be impacted other
people
's decent
life
.
People
 cannot feel safe which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 led to huge confusion in
society
.
Also
, it would lead to wrong influence on other
people
's
life
.
Therefore
, if there is a number of
crimes
 not getting punishment, citizens might be stopped believing in their safety
life
. In conclusion,
although
 there are many types of
crimes
 who would be involved they should be sent to jail and should be punished which in turn reduces the number of
crimes
 in
society
.
Submitted by ulziiko81 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incarceration
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Deterrent
  • Restorative justice
  • Economic viability
  • Sentencing
  • Criminal behavior
  • Psychological support
  • Public safety
  • Human rights
  • Correctional facility
  • Offender
  • Punitive measures
  • Crime prevention
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