the growh of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. do you agree or disagree?

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It is possible that the increasing number of e-commerce will lead to the retail shop in towns and big cities are going to close down. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

assertion and I will discuss my views in the

further

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paragraphs. To commence with, it makes people more convenient and saves

time

Use synonyms

Firstly

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, nowadays, people are a hectic business schedule, so they have less to shop in-store. If you have a bank account, you can buy things online for anything you want.

In addition

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, they offer door-to-door service,

hence

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, you don't have to carry much stuff and they will deliver the materials in the front of the door.

Furthermore

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, online shopping websites are categorized from daily products to electronic devices,

thus

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, these are very convenient for all customers.

Secondly

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time

Use synonyms

-saving is one of the prominent factors in closing department stores. If we buy the products in a retail shop, we will take

time

Use synonyms

to reach

this

Linking Words

store as well as we have to consider the shopping

time

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

. In fact, it can take a few minutes of processing

time

Use synonyms

to buy the products rather than buying at shopping centres. People prefer to purchase on e-shopping while the stores are becoming lesser and in the

end

Add a comma

,end

show examples

they are going to close down in some major cities.

Finally

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, it seems to me that the above-mentioned factors are the main effects of shutting down the stores in near future.

Submitted by eiphyo2021 on Thu Jun 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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the growh of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this case?Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

To some people studying the past is the best way to help young people function well in the modern world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures could be effective in helping young people to function well in the modern world?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way of getting job. On the other hand, other people think that getting expericne and skills is more important. Disucss both views and give your opinion.

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?