Modern technology has promoted easy and fast access to information. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

We now live in an
information
world where anyone who has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
immediate access to
information
is
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
an advantageous place
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
the rest of the people. Thanks to the technology advancement, we access
information
much faster and easier than ever before. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
having
Correct your spelling
convenient
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
and swift access to
information
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
outweigh the disadvantages.
For instance
, in Mongolia road transportation structure is not very developed,
thus
the lives of the rural
pastorial
Correct your spelling
pastoral
herders lives don't have the material amenities available in the city.
However
, nearly everyone has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile
phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
show examples
now.
Therefore
, the herder in the northernmost part of the country and the worker in the city
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the same news available to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
,
from
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apply
show examples
which they can use beneficially in their lives. Another example is that during the time
Communism
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of Communism
show examples
information
especially regarding politics were not readily available. People were not as aware of what was happening in regards to policy implementations, bureaucracies and injustices.
However
, now with social
platforms
Add a comma
,platforms
show examples
it is much
more
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apply
show examples
easier for the public to find out about faulty decisions of the government and express strong criticism for better change. One
such
incident happened in Ulaanbaatar our capital recently, where a politician's unresponsible statement erupted the anger that
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
public was already feeling. Within days through the social platforms movements were organized to demonstrate
this
frustration and anger and demanded a change. Within
this
event
Add a comma
,event
show examples
there were the counterparties who were
also
motivated by
this
information
to demonstrate
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the interest of corrupt politicians. In conclusion, while having
information
Add an article
the information
show examples
we need at our
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fingertips
show examples
finger tips
Correct your spelling
fingertips
show examples
might represent some disadvantages,
the
Change the word
its
show examples
availability of it offers
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
positive
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
and outweighs the disadvantages.
Submitted by btseren09 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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