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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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Nowadays, it is commonly believed that schools should teach
children
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 to be good
society
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 members. Others think that
this
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 value should be taught by the
parents
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 at home. I personally believe that the ‘right thing’ is dependent on the definition of a ‘good
member
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 of
society
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. It is common to believe that not questioning the law is the right thing, listening to the government or just volunteering are key concepts in defining the ultimate ‘good
member
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 of
society
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. I believe that a ‘good
member
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 of
society
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 is an individual
that is
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 capable of critical thinking and has strong ethical values.
That is
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 because neither the law nor the government is always right. The average
school
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 is an institution that cannot teach critical thinking
skills
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 almost by definition. It is meant to teach
children
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 to grow up, and eventually, just become part of the regular members working class,
that is
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 not capable of thinking independently and asking questions, to prevent workers’ revolt.
In addition
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, most schools are sponsored by the government,
thus
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 teaching critical thinking at
school
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 comes in a contradiction to the sponsor’s interests.
Parents
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, unlike schools, are freer to give their
children
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 the education they believe is right.
This
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 includes good ethics, critical thinking
skills
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 and other crucial
skills
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 that are not included in the regular curriculum (
such
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 as time and financial management).
Thus
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, if those
skills
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 won’t be given to the
children
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 in
school
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, it is crucial for the
parents
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 to teach those at home. In conclusion, considering
school
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 is unable to give the
children
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 everything that I believe is necessary for being a good
member
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 of
society
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,
this
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 should be done by the
children
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’s
parents
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.
Submitted by lesindanielle on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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