IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries the government likes to spend more money on arts some agree with this however other hand government should spend more on health and education discuss both and give your opinion.

#countries #government #money #arts #agree #hand #health #education
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`Since the beginning of the modern era, the
government
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 is spending more money on the arts than a public
health
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 system. all are having its own importance, and I have been discussing both of them point by point and giving my opinion in
further
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 paragraphs.
First
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 of all, in ancient ,time people love
art
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forms
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 for exposing their creativity which leads to the formation of amazing temples, mosques and churches.
For example
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, Emporer Shajahan ideally built Tajmahal for the memory of his wife
Mumdas
Correct your spelling
Monday
. On other hand, the Konark sun temple, the palace of Emporiers, and the Padmanabha Swamy temple all are wonderful creations of
art
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. But unfortunately, nowadays, these
art
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forms
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 are not able to acquire the power of old. So , the
government
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 spend more money on the development of
art
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forms
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. In that way, may help people to create
such
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 a beautiful building.
Secondly
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, nowadays
health
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 and education have their
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
. Most people are bothered about their
health
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 more than any other thing. The
government
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 should be given
first
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 preference to
health
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 and education rather than others. They are spending a lot of money on the development of the
health
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 system. But
also
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 helps to improve the endangered
art
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forms
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also
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. In conclusion, the
art
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forms
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,
health
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 and education all are having their own importance. but in my point of view,
art
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forms
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 are reducing day by day. So the
government
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 should take care of
art
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forms
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 more than any other,
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otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 it
winn
Correct your spelling
will
 be disappearing from the world.
Submitted by chithsiva on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural preservation
  • Economic benefits
  • Promotes creativity
  • Foundational
  • Holistic development
  • Basic human rights
  • National welfare
  • Balanced approach
  • Tourism industry
  • Long-term
  • Prioritizing
  • Crucial
  • Neglect
  • Cultural identity
  • Mental health support
What to do next:
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