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Band 7

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour
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It is often argued that violent content frequently displayed on media would negatively affect
children
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's behaviour. I strongly agree that violence has a risk to offspring. The tendency of offspring to imitate what they see in the brutality on television is increasing these days.
However
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, the aged 6 to 12 youngsters still lack the depth of consequences of doing aggressive language and action toward others. According to recent research, a person who watched a lot of TV violence when they were eight years old was more likely to be arrested and prosecuted for criminal acts as adults.
Moreover
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, parents ignore the serious issue because they desensitise to bloody images or aggressive actions on television.
In contrast
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,
children
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 are still building their beliefs and principles according to their world.
Thus
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, the aggressive actions or assault verbal would profoundly affect their self-awareness.
On the other hand
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, video games involve a significant amount of violence in a virtual reality made by high technology. The player is an active participant rather than a viewer;
therefore
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,
children
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 might be confused between reality and virtual reality. Young
children
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 will not distinguish because they lack under parent's supervision.
Besides
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, when their brains receive
this
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 kind of information, they might not have enough knowledge to deal with it, adversely affecting them psychologically. There is a murder issue that happened in Japan recently. A teenager killed his father, and
then
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 after he was arrested, he told the police he thought his father would live again just like the video game. In conclusion, video games and violent TV programmes have become common.
Therefore
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, we need to pay attention to preventing
children
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 to avoid the information that will harm their development.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • mimicking
  • aggressive
  • idolize
  • fear or anxiety
  • social interactions
  • mental health
  • proactive
  • supervision
  • content
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