IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

​​​​Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activities.

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​ In recent years, there has been a steady increase in the crime rate in many
countries
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, leading to some serious problems of security. Identifying the reasons behind
that is
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 key to tackling
this
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 problem. There are several reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon.
First
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, the legal system, including policies and enforcement, is weak in some
countries
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, allowing criminals to violate the law without being afraid of punishment.
For example
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, since Western
countries
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,
such
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 as the Netherlands and England, do not have the death penalty, the number of murders in those nations is much higher than in those applying capital punishment.
Second
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, online social media often has uncontrolled and inappropriate
content
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,
such
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 as sex and violence.
This
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 leads to negative effects on the thinking and behavior of many people, especially the youth who are vulnerable and can easily be influenced by outside elements. That results in a significant increase in the number of young criminals in society.
Nevertheless
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, there are
also
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 a variety of solutions to mitigate
this
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 trend.
First
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, law makers should consider legislating stricter penalties to prevent citizens from committing crimes. In fact, developing
countries
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, which apply the death penalty that many developed ones avoid due to considerations of human rights, usually have a much lower rate of serious crimes.
Second
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, governments and large companies that operate social media,
such
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 as Facebook and Google, should work together to control and monitor
content
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 on
such
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 platforms and to limit the age of participants in order to provide a healthy internet environment.
Therefore
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, teenagers and children would be safe from bad
content
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. In conclusion, the weak law system and uncontrolled
content
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 are two main factors which contribute to rising crime rates.
However
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, through cooperation between governments and social media firms, the crime rate would decline. ✍ Total words: 292 📍Band: 7.5+ 👉 @Essays_band9

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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