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Band 5.5

Sport is one of the most popular draws on television today. some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encourage aging them to watch rather than take in physical activity. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#sport #television #people #practice #health #generation #activity
Nowadays watching sports on television is a kind of leisure activity for various
people
. Some argue that it is a mode to the blame poor health of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation by encouraging them to watch rather than to take part in physical activities. I disagree
towards
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the proposed agreement in the question by illustrating some supportive points with relevant examples. Showing sport on television is one of the crucial
form
Change to a plural noun
forms
show examples
 of entertainment all over the world whether it is a Basketball game in US or Cricket tournament between the various countries held all over the world.
Hence
,
people
 of the country are concerned related to the
parctice
Correct your spelling
practice
 and funding to form a team that will perform against other countries.
In addition
, some
people
 look
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 sport
as
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a business perspective , they bid on the teams as
prediction
Add an article
a prediction
show examples
 to carry out
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge amount of profits.
For instance
, an application on
smartphone
Correct article usage
a smartphone
show examples
 referred
as
Change preposition
to as
show examples
 'dream 11' is one of the bidding platforms where lots of
people
are
Change the verb form
are enabled
show examples
enable
Correct your spelling
unable
show examples
 to form a team by referring their friends to increase the contribution.
Furthermore
, Intervals during a play consists of the tips to stay fit by different
Add a hyphen
world-class
show examples
world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
show examples
 players and
also
 encourage viewers to join nearby academy available in their
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 locality.
For example
, Virat Kohli is one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
elitest
Change the word
most elite
show examples
 cricketers from India shares his daily routine consisting of fibrous diets which keeps them healthy and active throughout the day. In conclusion,
Younger
Add an article
the Younger
show examples
 generation is encouraged to stay fit by performing a regular
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 of all ages.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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