Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents.

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents

It is true that raising children is an important task in our society. Personally, I believe that parenting courses are essential and effective to equip a parent for that task, and I

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

agree that every parent, regardless of mother

and

Correct word choice

show examples

father, is necessary to take a

course

for that.

To begin

with, the

first

argument springs to my mind is that parenting

course

Fix the agreement mistake

courses

show examples

are essential for

parents

to take up the responsibility to raise their children.

This

is because parenting is not a simple task but involves extensive skill sets.

Hence

, it requires proper training to acquire those skills.

For example

, how to use positive enforcement and negative punishment to shape a

child

's behaviour. Without attending a

course

and the knowledge of

child

psychology and developmental stages, it is difficult for

parents

to meet many challenges of rearing a

child

. It is

also

worth mentioning that

parents

attending a parenting

course

Change the verb form

are

show examples

effective for enhancing home-school cooperation.

First

of all, it is impossible to rely solely on teachers to cultivate a

child

's virtues and develop their good habits. According to a study in the Education University of Hong Kong, better home-school cooperation between teachers and

parents

is vital for nurturing the empathy and kindness of a

child

Therefore

, parenting courses with

teaching

Wrong verb form

teach

show examples

home-school communication skills can prepare fathers and mothers

Fix the infinitive

to be

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

to develop a

child

's personality and character. In conclusion, I believe it is necessary and helpful for mothers and fathers to take a parenting

course

in order to equip them to be competent

parents

Submitted by Peter Chan on Sat Jun 18 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children follow rules?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisement? What measures can be taken to protect them?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research evey year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?