IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why is this? Who benefits more from this, the communities or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses
Charity and voluntary work have been used by the wealthy families of the
first
-class community definitely a helpful source for the unlucky
people
 in every country.
This
 can be done with the alliance of local non-profit organisations or government
services
.
Nonetheless
, It can
also
 be voluntary and
this
 is beneficial for both parties. The following paragraphs intend to discuss the reason in detail. The competition in getting a prestigious university is tougher and more difficult nowadays. Application reviewers often need candidates to submit research or experience in a unique subject. So candidates can use the unpaid work experience that they get from rural community
services
.
This
 extraordinary service on the subject of kindness will always be noticed by the university and may boost the chance of getting shortlisted.
Furthermore
, Social media is another reason why
people
 target charity
services
 in undeveloped communities. In the current era, Kindness or the mind of giving will get more attention than anything else. So
people
 especially the youth choose to travel within their countries sometimes even beyond the border with running cameras to shoot the life of the poor and the kind
services
 that they are giving to them,
such
 as education, accommodation, etc. In doing
this
, some
people
 become celebrities on social media. To conclude,
although
 it may seem that only the wealthy
people
 gain profit from charity
services
, the local community and the government
also
 equally get benefits. While the poor get support for their basic needs, the government can spend the funds for other developments in the country.
Moreover
, the country's situation will be publicised on social media which will bring more attention to the connected global village.
Submitted by rijoshjoywyd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: