One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

Nowadays, We are living in a modern era and the best technologies can be found more than back

then

. Our

life

would be going too easily with the help of these plethoras of technologies. One of the major situations is improved in the health care field is that due to better treatment and medicines today's

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

are living a healthier

life

and increasing their

expectancy

life

. I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages .

To begin

with, there are several drawbacks to longer

life

expectancy

. The main advantage is that to have better medical care older

people

population growing rapidly and

this

ratio can be increasing

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

. Older

people

need more facilities and medical treatment and they get sicker as the days passed. So, Many nurses and doctors can be engaged to improve older

people

's situation and

also

government take care of the senior citizen by helping them financially and providing pension insurance and etc.

Therefore

, in the future pension insurance system would disappear because the government experiencing a budget crisis.

Moreover

, sometimes due to medication side effects older

people

may be stressed out so their bodies cannot support them to have their former efficiency .

However

, I think that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages . New technologies and research make everyone's lives easier compared to past decades. Increasing

life

expectancy

has been beneficial. Older

people

have many advantages for their families and society. The main point in a family is that we need older

people

's knowledge in our head which they guide their family members in vital situations.

Firstly

, the obvious benefit of

this

is that

people

can live a longer

life

with their family and explore different beauties as the family demands. Older

people

can get more time to spend a pleasant time with their family.

Secondly

, Senior

people

are beneficial to their families and society.

For example

, in tough ,situations they always get brilliant advice from elders and their advice has a low possibility of being wrong in any circumstances. Moving

further

, Older

people

give valuable advice and emotional support to the younger generation in tough times. Another main advantage

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is that grandchildren spend more time with their grandfather and grandmother and they

also

learn valuable skills and cultural values. We can live more to teach our culture to our younger generation. Government can

also

get a benefit from elders .They may make them more productive by increasing the retirement age or by employing them in non-labour work. Many older

people

start their own business after their retirement and give some useful information from a business. To sum up, thanks to the enhanced medical facilities due to the fact that mankind now lives longer than they used to live .

This

enhanced

life

expectancy

is a blessing for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humanity.

Although

longer

life

expectancy

is not possible without disadvantages I think that the advantages will justify these.

Submitted by snazari2006 on Sat Jun 18 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

483 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Some people say that schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out bout the history of the house or building they live in.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?