IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the benefits of living in big cities,as opposed to rural areas? What are the problems of rural areas, and how can they be solved?

#cities #areas
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In recent times
places
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 have become an essential thing in
people
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's lives. Some
people
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 think that living in big cities is more useful than living in rural
areas
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. There are two major problems
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 rural
areas
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline the primary problems of rural
areas
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 followed by how can we address
Linking Words
this
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these problems
show examples
problem
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. One of
main
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the main
show examples
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problem
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problems
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 of rural
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problem
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problems
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 to be considered is
that
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apply
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the lack of facilities.
People
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 typically face some
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in providing
their
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for their
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 needs.
For example
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, my friend Fatma who
live
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lives
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 in
vallege
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Vallege
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suffer
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suffers
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 from a long distance when she wants to go to the hospital
of
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or
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 the supermarket.
This
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
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apply
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can affect
on
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apply
show examples
their health and Standards of living. Another
problem
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 is that the small number of schools. It means that
students
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 are not able to goin school there are a lot of
students
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 in small
class
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classes
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.
For instance
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, there are many villages which have only one school like Falaj town.
As a result
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, it will
effect
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affect
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on
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apply
show examples
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students
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students'
student's
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 academic performance. To address
this
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problem
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, the government has the priority to build more schools,
shopes
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shoppes
shops
, and hospitals to improve
people
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's
live
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lives
show examples
. A good example here is India. It
offer
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offers
show examples
 more than 3 Schools in each rural
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places
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place
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. So, it
invest's
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invest in
show examples
people
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's lives. Another possible solution is that if
propor
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proper
 ruks and measures are for rural
areas
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, potentially not implemented it
caueses
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causes
 a rapid increase in health issues
such
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 as heart and pressure. In conclusion,
places
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 are
these
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apply
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the lack of facilities and
large
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a large
the large
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 number of
students
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 in school are the most common
problemes
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problems
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 in rural
places
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. I think that
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government
governt
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the governt
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 should work hard to provide Some needs and
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alone
awone
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allow
people
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develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
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 their village through business and trade
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Coherence
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. Consider using connecting words and phrases to better link your paragraphs and make your argument clearer.
Task Response
Ensure your main points are fully developed with specific and relevant examples. Aim to expand on your ideas to add depth and clarity.
Language Use
Review grammar and sentence structure to improve the clarity of your writing. Working on eliminating small errors can make your essay more professional.
Structure
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the topic and summarizing your points well.
Task Achievement
You have identified relevant problems of rural areas and proposed solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Amenities
  • Employment opportunities
  • Healthcare services
  • Educational institutions
  • Public transport
  • Social interactions
  • Quality of life
  • Specialized skills
  • Diverse industries
  • Medical care
  • Concentration
  • Infrastructure
  • Government investment
  • Internet connectivity
  • Local businesses
  • Community building
What to do next:
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