IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the benefits of living in big cities,as opposed to rural areas? What are the problems of rural areas, and how can they be solved?

In recent times
places
Use synonyms
 have become an essential thing in
people
Use synonyms
's lives. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that living in big cities is more useful than living in rural
areas
Use synonyms
. There are two major problems
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline the primary problems of rural
areas
Use synonyms
 followed by how can we address
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these problems
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
. One of
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of rural
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 to be considered is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the lack of facilities.
People
Use synonyms
 typically face some
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in providing
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 needs.
For example
Linking Words
, my friend Fatma who
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
 in
vallege
Change the capitalization
Vallege
show examples
suffer
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffers
show examples
 from a long distance when she wants to go to the hospital
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 the supermarket.
This
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health and Standards of living. Another
problem
Use synonyms
 is that the small number of schools. It means that
students
Use synonyms
 are not able to goin school there are a lot of
students
Use synonyms
 in small
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are many villages which have only one school like Falaj town.
As a result
Linking Words
, it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 academic performance. To address
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, the government has the priority to build more schools,
shopes
Correct your spelling
shoppes
shops
, and hospitals to improve
people
Use synonyms
's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. A good example here is India. It
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 more than 3 Schools in each rural
Use synonyms
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
. So, it
invest's
Change preposition
invest in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's lives. Another possible solution is that if
propor
Correct your spelling
proper
 ruks and measures are for rural
areas
Use synonyms
, potentially not implemented it
caueses
Correct your spelling
causes
 a rapid increase in health issues
such
Linking Words
 as heart and pressure. In conclusion,
places
Use synonyms
 are
these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the lack of facilities and
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of
students
Use synonyms
 in school are the most common
problemes
Correct your spelling
problems
show examples
 in rural
places
Use synonyms
. I think that
Correct your spelling
government
governt
Correct article usage
the governt
show examples
 should work hard to provide Some needs and
Correct your spelling
alone
awone
Correct your spelling
allow
people
Use synonyms
develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
show examples
 their village through business and trade

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. Consider using connecting words and phrases to better link your paragraphs and make your argument clearer.
Task Response
Ensure your main points are fully developed with specific and relevant examples. Aim to expand on your ideas to add depth and clarity.
Language Use
Review grammar and sentence structure to improve the clarity of your writing. Working on eliminating small errors can make your essay more professional.
Structure
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the topic and summarizing your points well.
Task Achievement
You have identified relevant problems of rural areas and proposed solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Amenities
  • Employment opportunities
  • Healthcare services
  • Educational institutions
  • Public transport
  • Social interactions
  • Quality of life
  • Specialized skills
  • Diverse industries
  • Medical care
  • Concentration
  • Infrastructure
  • Government investment
  • Internet connectivity
  • Local businesses
  • Community building
What to do next:
Look at other essays: