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Band 7.5

Using a computer every day can have more negative than postive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #postive #effects #children
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Nowadays, everyone needs to
use
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computers
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 to finish our tasks in our daily life, which is included our offspring. They
also
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 need to
use
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 a
computer
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 to complete their homework and online courses.
Thus
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, digital equipment become an essential item in our society.
Hence
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, I fully agree with using
computers
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 might create certain negative effects on offspring. Let me illustrate my perspectives in the below paragraph.
First
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 of all, the self-discipline abilities of
kids
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 are weaker than compared of adults. In reality, young
children
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 are addicted to games, which can affect their study schedules. In accordance to China newspaper, China Government needs to set up certain restrictions, which cannot provide games services to
children
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 under 12 years old. Accordance to the research, young
children
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 might spend over 6 hours per day on the
computer
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 when they do not have any control. The news proves that
children
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 lack self-discipline.
Additionally
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, there are other potential hazards too. In research, there are two groups of
kids
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. One group of
children
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use
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 digital items on a daily basis, and the other one uses less digital equipment. The concentration ability of the former one is lower compared with the latter. It is because brain development in
children
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 has not been fully completed and over-exposure to videos hampers the development of
children
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's brains.
Moreover
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, once they are accustomed to videos, words in textbooks just seem too boring to them, which makes them impatient in their studies. In conclusion, we cannot avoid using
use
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computers
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 in our daily life.
Nevertheless
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, it does not mean that
computer
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 only has a negative effect on
kids
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 that should be abandon
computer
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 from childhood. We should teach
kids
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, who need to behave self-discipline in using
computers
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 to have fun.
Submitted by ABC_XYZ on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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