IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations reduce the consumption of fossil fuel ( gas and oil). To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There are various challenges when it comes to running the economy of one nation smoothly.
Linking Words
Hence
Punctuation problem
Hence,
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 the change in certain rules is liable to look after the condition of the earth in future.
Therefore
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, the international community should be responsive to warn all nations to decrease the consumption of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
such
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 as gas and oil. I lean towards the agreement of the statement by providing possible statements with relevant examples.
Firstly
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, Innovation on a large scale demands lots of
energy
Use synonyms
 sources
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 some of the trials were successful
Punctuation problem
, that
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that
Correct word choice
which
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 propulsion the economy of one country. They get used to it.
Consequently
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,
this
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lead
Replace the word
led
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 to huge pollution in the environment that led to the interruption of natural climatic processes.
For instance
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, the overuse of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 in vehicles and electricity generation
produced
Wrong verb form
produces
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 various thermal gases.
As a result
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, ice caps are now decreasing
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is predicted by the rise of sea level.
Hence
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 rise in sea level will destroy the numerous natural habitats.
Secondly
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, the transition is slow to get equipped with renewable
energy
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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 majority of the nation depends upon fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 and natural gas
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are used to produce 24*7 electricity. Some nations are rather successful in installing renewable
energy
Use synonyms
acquiring
Replace the word
acquisition
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 devices which are totally eliminating pollution.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
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 example, Solar panels are an effective way to get free
energy
Use synonyms
. Some parts of the US and India are now referring to
this
Linking Words
 technology
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is the result of the effective steps from the international community. There is
an
Correct article usage
apply
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rigorous research to run heavy vehicles and warships as
the
Correct article usage
a
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 challenge
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 a sustainable alternative is not enough. In conclusion,
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
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 of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 significantly reduced all over the world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nations have implemented renewable resources to take a stand toward sustainability.

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task response
Task Response: The essay says you agree with the view and gives some reason and some examples. To be clearer, say how much you agree (for example, 'I strongly agree'), then give more solid facts or events to back your points. Also finish with a short clear view in the end.
coherence
Coherence and Cohesion: Use clear order. Start with one idea, then the next. End each idea with a link to the next. Use simple words to join sentences, like 'and,' 'but,' 'also,' 'however.'
strength
The writer has a clear position on the issue.
strength
Some use of linking words like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' can show a plan.
strength
Examples are given to back points.
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