Many parents today employ private tutors to teach their children school hours. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Education has been changing in a competitive society for many years.

As a result

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, there are extra

classes

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by private tutors for

children

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to achieve better academic performance.In my opinion,it may bring about negative consequences for both

children

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and society.

To begin

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with,one of the important effects of extra

classes

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is enormous stress for students.

In other words

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,most

children

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are unbearable coping with

such

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situations.Serious mentally illnesses may eventually arise

such

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as school refusion, anxiety ,and depression.

In addition

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children

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have no free time for playing or enjoying leisure activities.Their creativity and imagination should be limited by theoretical knowledge.

Thus

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,it is hinder the shining of their hidden talent.

Such

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classes

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harm childhood development.

In addition

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, parents and communities are

also

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affected by the private

classes

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Firstly

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,the increase in monthly expenses to afford the tuition fees.

This

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leads to unnecessary loans for some families.Financial problems may contribute to serious outcomes.Familial arguments,

for example

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,may happen when their

children

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do not perform well to deserve money investment.

Therefore

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the bonding between parents and the

children

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may be vulnerable to break.

Secondly

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,private lessons may create a selfish child.

This

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means that the

children

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are taught to reach their target scores without sharing them with their friends.When they grow up, they tend to be good takers

besides

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mercy givers.

Accordingly

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this

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trend of private tutors has a great impact on both individuals and the people around the

children

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. In conclusion, it can be reiterated private tutor employment is a popular trend in many parts of the world.Not only

children

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but

also

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the whole community are affected by

this

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phenomenon in terms of mental ,financial and other social-related issues.

paisarnsi182

Jun 19, 2022

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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