Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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It is believed that
adolescents
Use synonyms
should be involved in
community
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work during leisure time and that can benefit them and the
community
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. I agree with the statement
as
Change preposition
that
show examples
teenagers
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can benefit by having
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
of responsibility at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age and that may help reduce the
rate
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of juvenile
crime
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in
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
. By participating in social work, many young
adolescents
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are instilled with a sense of responsibility.
Instead
Linking Words
of
involving
Wrong verb form
being involved
show examples
in illegal
activities
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during
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time,
teenagers
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who join
community
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work tend to be more responsible to their
community
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and country.
For instance
Linking Words
,
activities
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such
Linking Words
as cleaning the compounds around
orphanage
Fix the agreement mistake
orphanages
show examples
and old folks can make them feel more engaged
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
helping unfortunate people.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, young
adolescents
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may possess a sense of responsibility towards their
community
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
in
teenagers
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who are responsible among the population could reduce the
rate
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of juvenile
crime
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in the
community
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. Many young
adolescents
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are involved in
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crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
activities
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all over the country as they
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
not exposed to
such
Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
since young.
As a result
Linking Words
of participating
social
Change preposition
in social
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
, there are high possibilities to mitigate the occurrence of crimes
such
Linking Words
as vandalism, pickpocketing,
robberies
Correct word choice
and robberies
show examples
in
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community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the juvenile
crime
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rate
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in the
community
Use synonyms
eventually reduced with
well raised
Add a hyphen
well-raised
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it can be clearly deduced that
crime
Use synonyms
rates could be reduced in
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
as there are more responsible
teenagers
Use synonyms
who are able to ensure a harmonious
community
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the occurrence of juvenile
crime
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rate
Use synonyms
could be mitigated and that may benefit the society.
Submitted by vinahravin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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