Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It is believed that
adolescents
should be involved in community
work during leisure time and that can benefit them and the community
. I agree with the statement as
Change preposition
that
teenagers
can benefit by having sense
of responsibility at Add an article
a sense
young
age and that may help reduce the Add an article
a young
rate
of juvenile crime
in community
. By participating in social work, many young Add an article
the community
a community
adolescents
are instilled with a sense of responsibility. Instead
of involving
in illegal Wrong verb form
being involved
activities
during free
time, Correct pronoun usage
their free
teenagers
who join community
work tend to be more responsible to their community
and country. For instance
, activities
such
as cleaning the compounds around orphanage
and old folks can make them feel more engaged Fix the agreement mistake
orphanages
into
helping unfortunate people. Change preposition
in
Subsequently
, young adolescents
may possess a sense of responsibility towards their community
. Secondly
, Correct article usage
an increased
increased
in Replace the word
increase
teenagers
who are responsible among the population could reduce the rate
of juvenile crime
in the community
. Many young adolescents
are involved in crime
Replace the word
criminal
activities
all over the country as they are
not exposed to Verb problem
have
such
activities
since young. As a result
of participating social
Change preposition
in social
activities
, there are high possibilities to mitigate the occurrence of crimes such
as vandalism, pickpocketing, robberies
in Correct word choice
and robberies
community
. Correct article usage
the community
Thus
, the juvenile crime
rate
in the community
eventually reduced with well raised
Add a hyphen
well-raised
teenagers
. In conclusion, it can be clearly deduced that crime
rates could be reduced in community
as there are more responsible Add an article
the community
teenagers
who are able to ensure a harmonious community
. Therefore
, the occurrence of juvenile crime
rate
could be mitigated and that may benefit the society.Submitted by vinahravin on
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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