IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

With advances in technological communication, more and more people are able to work from home. This increase of homeworking had been of real benefit to workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#advances #communication #people #work #home #benefit #workers
Thanks to the great invention of the internet and increased use of social platforms nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the people from the working class made the choice of working from
home
.
This
 may cause the problem of feeling lonely and lack of communication.
However
, we can not deny the fact it benefits most of the employees out there working from
home
 in every possible way.
Firstly
, workers benefit from the flexibility of
time
. It shows how they can manage the
time
 of working hours beforehand.
Furthermore
, they can
also
 ignore corny nine to five working hours. Which makes it easier for them to
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
 the
time
 for their family and friends.
Such
 as normal workers might not be able to spend
time
 in the morning with their kids and
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 their kids go to school. That alone obviously shows they can balance the life between their job and their family. Not only that but
also
 they can cut all the unnecessary expenses. Since they have been working from
home
, all the unnecessary expenses
such
 as commuting fees are all cut as well as the
time
 they have used to travel from their
home
 to their workplace.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 results in workers having more hours to complete their work without needing to sacrifice the
time
 for their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 can
also
 mean productivity for their job is increased. With all that being said it is true that some people might have been suffering from feeling lonely and stressed because of lacking communication and overworking.
However
,
flexibility
Add an article
the flexibility
show examples
 of
time
 and minimizing expenses are far greater. It may be the case why so many people make the decision to work from
home
.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: