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Band 5

The qualities and skills that people require to be successful in today’s world cannot be learned at university or at other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#qualities #skills #people #today’s #world #university #institutions
Some
people
 believe that
people
does
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do
show examples
 not necessarily
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in a university or at other academic institutions to be successful as the qualities and
skills
 can be learned. I totally disagree with
this
 notion.
This
 essay will summarize why it is important to be educated in a
school
 or institution.
Students
 are admitted to the
school
 to be educated and learn the qualities and
skills
 of being a professional which makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be successful.
For instance
, student nurses are being taught
on
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apply
show examples
how to insert a cannula
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their patients. A competency skill is needed if the technique is the correct
way
. As
such
,
this
 skill is needed for the safety of the patients. If the practice is not the correct
way
,
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will not be
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 in their field.
Furthermore
, studying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities or colleges is a
way
 of interacting with
people
 and
this
 is a
way
 of learning the values of other
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 in
such
 a
way
 that spending with them will be giving the person
other perspective
Change the wording
another perspective
other perspectives
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 life.
On the other hand
,
people
tends
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tend
show examples
 to ignore the education given by the teachers in
school
 because nowadays the proliferation of using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is widely used by the
students
.
For example
,
students
 watch Youtube
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn the
skills
 of cooking in which there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
simple
instruction
Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
show examples
 on how to cook.
Consequently
, they will master the recipe and be a successful person. In conclusion, there are advantages of studying in a
school
 or university wherein
students
 will acquire the qualities and
skills
 to be successful and famous.
Submitted by joseth_cabanos on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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