Better driver education for better driving habits is more effective than heavier punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people opine that it is better to raise the awareness of drivers about driving safely is much
effective
Correct quantifier usage
more effective
show examples
than punishing them. Personally,
although
I advocate the
first
opinion
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
iI
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
heavy punishments are real
enquirements
Correct your spelling
requirements
for road
safety
. On the
first
hand, It is undeniable that an important amount of the
vehicle's
Change noun form
vehicle
show examples
accidents around the world are done by
Correct your spelling
unconscious
unconcious
Correct your spelling
unconscious
individuals about the
Correct your spelling
potential
potentioal
Correct your spelling
potential
dangers of exceeding the speed limits of the roads or breaking laws related to their and
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
safety
.
Therefore
,
opining
Correct your spelling
opening
show examples
their eyes about the detrimental consequences of
this
behaviour ,
such
as driving without fasting their seat builts or even seating their kids
besides
Replace the word
beside
show examples
them in the front seats, would certainly lower the alarming figures of the accidents recorded annually.
On the other hand
, I believe being
Correct your spelling
strict
strickt
Correct your spelling
strict
and firm is an important key to
controll
Correct your spelling
control
controlling
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
behaviour as
Correct your spelling
being
beng
Correct your spelling
being
lenent
Correct your spelling
lenient
with some would not mitigate
this
problem.
istead
Correct your spelling
instead
the numbers would go up to higher levels if there were no
detternet
Correct your spelling
deterrent
punishments To conclude, the
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
aforementiond
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
points clearly illustrated the importance of
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
raising
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
awareness especially the youth about their own
safety
and the
second
road users and at the same time keep monitoring the roads by using advanced technology to
contol
Correct your spelling
control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
safety
as much as possible.
Submitted by 3.ALSHABI on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: