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Band 5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #railways #roads
The government with its ministries is solely responsible for allocating
funds
 for the different facilities. Some
people
 argue that nations should invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 railroads than
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
roads
.
Although
 I believe that more
funds
 should be given to railways in order to help
people
 who cannot afford to buy a private car and to protect the environment as well,
roads
 should not be ignored completely as some
people
 cannot
use
 public
transport
 for health conditions or when they have urgent errands. On one side, more
funds
 should be given to undergrounds, and trams as a lot of
people
 cannot purchase their own car. Due to the economic deterioration, several workers receive very low wages and are found to be below the line
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 poverty.
This
 is so obvious on the majority of the public
transport
 as you can see most of the
people
 on board are coming from a low standard.
Therefore
, it would be a wise decision if governments invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 railways to help a wide range of citizens.
Furthermore
, by allocating more
funds
 to buses, trams, and tunnels, the nation is encouraging
people
 to
use
 them and eventually protect the environment from air and noise pollution. To illustrate, when
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
use
 their private vehicles, there would be less noise and smoke.
In addition
, traffic congestion will decrease dramatically, which will help us to live in a clean environment.
Therefore
, governments should be motivated to spend more money on developing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transport
 indirectly.
However
, on the other side,
funds
 given to
roads
 should not
Change the verb form
be canceled
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canceled
Change the spelling
cancelled
show examples
 completely. To clarify, old
people
 and those with disabilities cannot always
use
 railways easily. Since their health conditions might prevent them from moving fast and normally.
Therefore
, having their own car is a suitable alternative.
Thus
, governments should continue funding the
roads
, though not equally as the public
transport
. To conclude, both public and private
transport
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 pivotal for
people
.
Consequently
, It is the country's duty to invest in both, though public
transport
 should receive more investment for the previously mentions reasons.
Submitted by emaalsholkamy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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