IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #railways #roads
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The government with its ministries is solely responsible for allocating
funds
Use synonyms
 for the different facilities. Some
people
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 argue that nations should invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 railroads than
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 I believe that more
funds
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 should be given to railways in order to help
people
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 who cannot afford to buy a private car and to protect the environment as well,
roads
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 should not be ignored completely as some
people
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 cannot
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 for health conditions or when they have urgent errands. On one side, more
funds
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 should be given to undergrounds, and trams as a lot of
people
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 cannot purchase their own car. Due to the economic deterioration, several workers receive very low wages and are found to be below the line
Correct your spelling
of
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pf
Correct your spelling
of
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 poverty.
This
Linking Words
 is so obvious on the majority of the public
transport
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 as you can see most of the
people
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 on board are coming from a low standard.
Therefore
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, it would be a wise decision if governments invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 railways to help a wide range of citizens.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by allocating more
funds
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 to buses, trams, and tunnels, the nation is encouraging
people
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 to
use
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 them and eventually protect the environment from air and noise pollution. To illustrate, when
less
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fewer
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people
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use
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 their private vehicles, there would be less noise and smoke.
In addition
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, traffic congestion will decrease dramatically, which will help us to live in a clean environment.
Therefore
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, governments should be motivated to spend more money on developing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transport
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 indirectly.
However
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, on the other side,
funds
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 given to
roads
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 should not
Change the verb form
be canceled
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canceled
Change the spelling
cancelled
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 completely. To clarify, old
people
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 and those with disabilities cannot always
use
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 railways easily. Since their health conditions might prevent them from moving fast and normally.
Therefore
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, having their own car is a suitable alternative.
Thus
Linking Words
, governments should continue funding the
roads
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, though not equally as the public
transport
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. To conclude, both public and private
transport
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 pivotal for
people
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.
Consequently
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, It is the country's duty to invest in both, though public
transport
Use synonyms
 should receive more investment for the previously mentions reasons.
Submitted by emaalsholkamy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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