Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing a computer game for children. Do you agree or disagree?

It is said that reading
stories
from
books
is more beneficial to
children
than watching
tv
programs
. I strongly disagree with
this
idea because of the perfect positive effects of
Tv
programs
on
children
such
as shaping their
personalities
and keeping their knowledge updated.
Tv
programs
and
games
can be positively effective on
children
since they present
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
awareness in
children
and in my opinion,
this
can directly
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
’s
personalities
. I have noticed that a remarkable portion of
children
’s time is spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
TV
programs
and playing
games
and
as a result
, they are exposed to a wide range of
information
.
this
situation perfectly helps
children
know about their identities, emotions,
personalities
and ideas. As
children
grow, their
personalities
are likely to be made consciously through the received knowledge. Watching
TV
programs
and playing computer
games
are absolutely more beneficial to
children
than reading
stories
from
books
because
children
receive updated
information
through
Tv
and
Games
.
Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, we live in a fast data transferring world and new
Programs
and
games
are being made and transferred incredibly fast.
Tv
programs
and
games
are the main means to receive brand new
information
for people
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
all ages including
Children
Fix capitalization
children
show examples
. Take the Cinderella Story and The Simpsons as an example. Cinderella story was written decades ago and more importantly it is clearly based on the old fashion lifestyle but the
world famous
Add a hyphen
world-famous
show examples
tv
show named Simpsons is based on the modern lifestyle,
in
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
it includes recent
information
.
This
could be an obvious example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the benefits of
Tv
shows and
games
. In short, from my point of view, watching
Tv
Add an article
a Tv
show examples
show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
show examples
and playing
games
are certainly better than reading
stories
from
books
for
children
.
Although
Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stories
Add an article
the stories
show examples
for
children
impart wisdom to them and help them grow,
books
are getting old and difficult to be kept updated.
Submitted by fatemezand1990 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • imagination
  • creativity
  • visualize
  • critical thinking
  • immediate gratification
  • problem-solving
  • language development
  • vocabulary expansion
  • interactive
  • engaging
  • attention span
  • moral values
  • life lessons
  • empathize
  • fleeting connections
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