IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Educating young people is naturally important. However,some think governments ought to invest more in education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #think #governments #education #adults
Most countries recognize the importance of educating young people. But rarely do they consider providing
education
 for underprivileged
adults
. In my view, meeting the educational needs of
adults
 from poor backgrounds is as important as youth
education
. To start, some might suggest that it is a waste of resources to invest in educating poor
adults
.
This
 is because most
adults
 have major responsibilities like making a living and providing for their family as well as themselves. Receiving educational training on the side is simply not an option for these people unless they are free of those duties. Even worse, they sometimes quit halfway when faced with the difficulty of balancing their adult life with
this
 new challenge, which means government investment is wasted. It is
also
 argued that
adults
’ learning capabilities are not as sharp as they used to be, so there is no guarantee that educational training will be of any help to them.
Nevertheless
, I believe government investment in needy
adults
’
education
 can benefit them in several ways.
Education
 helps these
adults
 to turn their lives around. With some basic training, these
adults
 become more employable,
hence
 are likely to earn a better livelihood. In
this
 sense,
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
 investment in educating people other than youngsters will help curb poverty. Educating
adults
also
 makes them better parents. It is true that parents with a decent
education
 tend to make better decisions for their children in terms of
education
, health, diet and ultimately, career. After all, informed
adults
 make for more able caregivers. In conclusion, despite the arguments presented against
channeling
Change the spelling
channelling
show examples
 more funds towards educating
adults
 from disadvantaged backgrounds, I would argue that it is necessary as it helps them improve their lives as well as their children.
Submitted by adedayoadesewa1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: