Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Bullying is one of the
problems
that often occur at
school
in the world. There are many things of
abuse
that
children
usually do with their friends. I believe that
this
causes a lack of attention and personal
problems
. I will give solutions for
this
case that can solve the
problems
. On the one hand, nowadays, several pupils at
school
usually commit bullying with their friends because they get less attention. Most of them have experienced a broken home and are likely to get some
abuse
from their
parents
at home and making
children
feel that bullying
people
at
school
is not harmful. To show the evidence for
this
case, young
people
who have
a personal
Correct the article-noun agreement
a personal problem
personal problems
show examples
problems
with their
parents
or their personality are
people
that often commit crimes. They cannot handle their emotions and assume that the violence is routine, and they do not care about everything around them.
On the other hand
,
although
many
children
are often bullied at
school
, those have solutions to solve.
Firstly
,
parents
should educate their
children
and give them more attention so that
children
cannot see
abuse
in front of their eyes and make them desire to imitate their parent's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Secondly
, regulations in
school
should be strict for pupils who tend to commit
abuse
because every young
people
have different
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, so the teacher needs to make an effort to shape their student's characteristics.
For instance
, schools can provide strict rules for their student,
such
as being expelled from
school
. In conclusion, bullying is unacceptable for
people
, especially
children
at
school
. I believe that students who commit the violence with their friends have personal
problems
either with their
parents
or their personality. All abuses can reduce with the role of
parents
and teachers at their
school
.
Submitted by IELTS B9 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
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