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Band 4.5

Many students take part-time jobs while studying in universities. Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea?

#students #jobs #universities #idea
Several college
students
 work in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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temporary
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 along with their studies.
This
 essay agrees that part-time employment will be beneficial for the
students
 in developing their overall personality.
This
 essay will
first
 discuss that half-time jobs will help them to have a better understanding of how to manage
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 finances.
Further
, it will outline that
part-time
Correct article usage
a part-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 will help them to gain the essential skills which will benefit them in their
future
. Learning how to manage money and indulging in unnecessary expenses is the key to a prosperous life. Educational college
students
 when get employed in
a
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apply
show examples
Add a hyphen
part-time
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part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 work, they learn how to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 effective financial decisions.
This
 is to say, they get an understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how to use their salaries effectively in paying rent, purchasing groceries, as well as saving for
future
 uncertainties.
As a result
, they will become more responsible adults and in
future
 will be able to build a more secure
future
. To exemplify, a recent study in The New York Times showed that more than 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
students
 mentioned part-time jobs as a major reason which helped them in learning how to take care of their money. Apart from the aforementioned benefit, doing a
past-time
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
job
 will
also
 aid them to gain more real-life experiences which will increase their level of maturity.
In other words
, working in a company on a temporary basis will give them a better understanding of how a business operated, how to handle customers and how to complete projects within the deadline.
This
 will not only make their resume more attractive but will
also
 open new
job
 prospects for
students
 and will help to build a successful and prosperous professional life. To elucidate, a recent study in The Times in March 2016 showed that more than 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of college
students
 who worked as
a
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apply
show examples
part-time employee was able to get a
high level
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high-level
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job
 in the
future
. To conclude, part-time work is mandatory in building the overall character of university
students
 because they learn how to better finance their funds as well as widen
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 knowledge level that made them capable to grab esteemed jobs.
Submitted by nguyentatthang1981 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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