IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram reveals the amount of electrical equipment usage, namely washing machines, refrigerators and vacuum cleaners, in each household and the average hour per week spent on domestic work in one nation in one decade
period
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed that the number of households
Correct pronoun usage
that possessed
show examples
possessed
Wrong verb form
possessing
show examples
 electrical appliances has increased significantly through the presented
period
Use synonyms
 with equal figures for refrigerators and vacuum cleaners by early 2000.
However
Linking Words
, hours allocated to housework were faced with a great decline at the same time.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, despite the fact that
refrigerator
Correct article usage
the refrigerator
show examples
 was the least used device
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1920, onwards, its usage had been risen dramatically through the
next
Linking Words
 40 years reaching its peak in 1980 and remaining stable
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the rest of the
period
Use synonyms
. At the same time,
although
Linking Words
 the consumption of the laundry machine was the most common during the first term of the survey (40%), in the following
annums
Correct your spelling
annum
, it equalled the ratio of hoover applying in 1960, about 70%, after which the number of housekeeping ownership of vacuums reached the top, catching up the percentage of washer level. Regarding the
second
Linking Words
 chart, it shows a downward trend of
Add an article
the hour
show examples
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 allotted for household chores with 50 hours per week at the beginning of the observed
period
Use synonyms
 and a gradual drop to merely 15% in the
next
Linking Words
 60 years. It fluctuated slightly until 2019 and reached 10 per cent
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: