In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

Shopping has become an activity of leisure which was once merely considered a routine task.

Although

it might result in reckless purchasing sometimes,

however

, it has brought numerous indisputable and irrefutable advantages to individuals and our society. Some people derive massive debts from impulsive purchasing. Especially when the world embraced Information Age, in which countless items can be presented through the Internet, few conducted irrational purchases without evaluating their financial conditions and the practicality of merchandise respectively. Recent research has indicated that two-fifth of Taiwanese new graduates have been suffering from the poverty caused by unreasonable buying.

However

, shopping can be served as a sense of satisfaction that helps us to vanish stress. It was widely considered a female responsibility to maintain household goods,

nevertheless

, other family members increasingly participate in

this

activity.

As a result

this

trend not only generated new entertainment but

also

exempted women from being burdened with domestic chores. The economy of a nation can

also

be benefited, while shopping bolstered our country’s productivity. Shopping has created a considerable number of demands, trailblazers and innovators,

therefore

were encouraged to launch

further

research and products.

Further

, with cutting-edge technology, the market can be boosted at the single click of a button by enjoying a hobby. By way of conclusion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in terms of regarding shopping as a hobby. If the trend were to cease tomorrow, people would face a tremendous impact on their lives negatively.

Submitted by seanchang04 on Tue Jun 21 2022

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

242 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

Fully explain your ideas

In the last century the first man to walk on the moon said it was a great step for mankind. But in fact space travel has made little difference to most people lives today. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Some feel that cities should be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion