Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (IELTS 2, AC)

#people #entertainers #e #g #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job #ielts #ac

Many people think that popular stars, singers and sportsmen are paid too much money. To some extent, I agree with

this

point of view. For some reason, the other most important type of

job

should be getting better paid. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will demonstrate there are other

jobs

that can get better paid compared to

entertainers

. There are some reasons other

job

positions should get to highly paid than

entertainers

such

doctors

, polices and

teachers

First

doctors

and nurses play vital roles in

society

because they are taking care of sick or aged people who need special needs.

Moreover

, a policeman is protecting their community from harmful situations.

Also

, they have the responsibility to

work

with a healthy

society

. It is a very essential key role for any

society

. Without that person in the

community

Add a comma

,community

show examples

it would lead to very hard conflict situations everywhere.

That is

why those positions of

jobs

sometimes need to

work

timelessness without private life. The

last

essential

job

teachers

who need to get a higher salary. Because they educate our children and

this

job

required high-level effort. It is not easy to imagine without

teachers

who are guiding us to wonderful a future and preparing smart and educated people in our

society

On the other hand

, to some extent,

entertainers

are doing important

work

. It is important for their role is bring about joyfulness and happiness in their

society

However

, in other

jobs

, as mentioned above

doctors

, polices and teacher have to

work

harder than

entertainers

and must tackle a hard situation.

Furthermore

, those

job

positions required them to study for a long period as a doctor, even if they have to continue to study when they are working because of new pandemics or unknown illnesses that need to discover and need to find out how to stop them. In conclusion, some of the

jobs

need to be more highly paid than popular stars, because their role of responsibility is higher than those of

entertainers

such

doctors

teachers

, and policemen.

Submitted by ulziiko81 on Tue Jun 21 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (IELTS 2, AC)

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are invited to a party, however, because of some reasons you didn’t attend. Write a letter to the friend who invites you: (1) explain the reason why you didn’t go; (2) express your apology; (3) ask about some details in the party.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the country side is decreasing.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development s other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Children all over the world should learn to speak a single, universal language fluently in addition to their native language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?