IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work
Although
 some people believe that most artists have less wages compared to other sectors in the past, they have support from a group of supporters, and the advantages of technology that make them are recognized globally in the present
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
.I totally disagree with
this
 statement because two reasons are found.
This
 essay will elaborate on those reasons in detail and conclude with my opinion.
Firstly
, in
this
 modern, there are various groups ready to support creators.
For instance
, teenagers, who love pop music and instruments. Nowadays singers ,whether as a group or solo, They
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 famous around the world the reputation brings a large income from concert and copyright sources. As most people know today groups of Korean singers
such
 as BTS, and Blackpink recognise the global in terms of international artists.
Furthermore
, non-profit organizations that need to prevent the traditional arts, dominate charity events that exhibit their work in different sectors.So the government should not provide an offer to them.
Secondly
,
due to
 the platform of technology, those geniuses can sell their own products to customers internationally.
For example
, in the digital era, NFT is growing
this
 platform to help the crowd who are interested in the craft purchase the digital asset
that is
 the only piece.
Thus
 they will earn more money from easy access in the present era.
Hence
, the troupe are earning in different currencies,
therefore
, they do not need any help from the government anymore. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned in the essay, the troupe don't need financial support from the government anymore. They have many ways to get a high salary from the people who are crazy in the abstract.
Submitted by genius_za123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Content
Your arguments are generally well-developed and you present clear reasons for your opinion. Ensure to provide more specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more persuasive.
Content
Your essay presents a clear opinion and two well-explained reasons to support it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!